Tag Archives: motherhood

One Tough Mother

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If you’ve been a mom for more than 10 seconds, you know it’s not for the faint hearted.  As I scroll through social media and the internet I see numerous posts (many of  them very good) about how hard it is to be a mom, but I find myself wondering if this is actually helpful all of the time.

I’ve been a mom for over 25 years (we have eight kids), so when I started this gig there wasn’t internet or social media.  Often that meant we learned the hard way, but we learned as we walked the journey out in our own homes…without the world looking on or hearing much about it.

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The internet and social media can be a great way for moms to connect, especially when it’s impossible to get out with the kids. We can find helpful information and encouragement to better equip us for motherhood and we are reminded that we are not alone.  But for most of us, it typically doesn’t stop there.  It can quickly become a distraction and keep us from engaging in the real battle that is going on.  The battle for our kids’ souls.

Our two oldest daughters are married with children of their own.  They have told me how hard it can be to get their own unique groove in motherhood alongside Pinterest, Facebook, blogs, etc.  We are inundated with more information than we really need to be a good mom.

While we are fretting over whether or not our kids are “keeping up” developmentally with other kids their age, we are losing the opportunity to be praying over their souls, asking God what HE has for their lives.   We sacrifice the chance we have to savor these moments of this specific season of their childhoods.  Instead of embracing what is…we are constantly grasping for what “should be” based on how others are living or we THINK they are living.

YES, it can be hard. Really.Hard. But can I just say it?  We aren’t the first generation to experience motherhood and the struggles that come with it.  For thousands of years, moms have been having babies and growing them to adulthood.  They have experienced the joys and sorrows that we are feeling and they lived to tell about it.  The real question is HOW are we going to walk this journey?  Are we going to feel sorry for ourselves over every struggle, trial and pain? It’s a temptation I have faced a thousand times over and often given in to.  It never ended well.

Motherhood involves a lot of grit and perseverance, but not necessarily in the ways that are often portrayed on the internet.  Being a good mom requires a certain amount of toughness.  These days, that toughness means that we have to be willing to forge ahead based on what GOD is revealing to us and stand against the strong cultural tides that are undermining God’s good plan for  our families.  It means that we have to tune out the other voices and tune into what God is whispering in our hearts concerning our children.  We have to be warriors…women who aren’t afraid to be the mom God has called us to be.  We have to be one tough mother.

When the kids were young and I had to do so much for them, the physical exhaustion was real.  Having teens in the house is a another season of exhaustion, but a different kind. It’s more emotional and mental.  I get a little less frustrated now with the sometimes monumental task of parenting.  I am slowly toughening up and realizing that all of these struggles are part of the parenting package, not a personal affront toward me.

In this culture of being easily offended, we can quickly slip into becoming resentful over the work it takes to be a good parent.  This is not God’s heart for the family.  He has so much more for us and we need to pay attention to His ways because, although sometimes hard, they are good.

I am all for validation, friends and hugs for moms who are in the trenches everyday, but as someone said, “It’s okay to have a meltdown, just don’t unpack and LIVE there.”  My concern is that going over and over and over every little nuance of motherhood, can quite often end up as a distraction and temptation toward self pity.  There is so much about motherhood that takes grit and perseverance and I can’t help but wonder if changing our thinking toward letting it make us stronger would be more helpful.

Here’s the thing:  Our kids will probably experience a world we never dreamed of, one where they will most likely be persecuted in some way for living out their faith.

Moms, we need to GIRD UP!! Our kids are watching and taking their cues from us.  What are we telling them by how we are living our lives?   Are we telling them to quit if something is too hard?   Are we exampling a weak, anemic faith or a robust, durable, sturdy, rugged, solid, long lasting faith?

Don’t let the culture keep you from being the mom has called you to be. Grow in your faith and walk it out in front of your kids. Train them up in HIS ways.  Let them KNOW that our God is almighty, sovereign, powerful and REAL!!  Be one tough mother.

Moving On: Seasons of Motherhood

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motherisborn

Life is just.so.short.

I remember the season well, when my doctor informed me that “changes” in my body meant that I would likely not bear any more children.  It brought many emotions, fears and uncertainties.  I learned many of you had gone through the same thing, so I thought I’d share this again in case one of you is in this boat now.

Here I was thinking I would go quietly into menopause. You know, wait like most women do for those “signs” that tell us we’re transitioning from one season to the next.

So much for going quietly.  I’m being drop-kicked into it. It wasn’t really that we had planned on having more children, either. It was the idea that it had been decided for me—that’s what hurt.  That… that was a little harder to take.

This new season is requiring fresh faith. And surrender. Trust that God knows the future.

Faith_girl_sunset

I’ve had a few months to process this news now but here’s the fact.  Like millions of other women, I’m entering a new season of motherhood.

I’m moving on.

Tonight, I felt my unborn grandson moving and turning and hiccuping inside his mother—my daughter.

I have been doing a bit of soul-searching as I find myself in this new season of life—this season of in-between.

In-between parenting a toddler and mentoring a young mother-to-be.

As I was doing laundry, a blanket caught my eye. It boasts a  “Daisy Kingdom” pattern from 1990. I love this blanket. I stitched it together in my kitchen while I waited for my first baby to arrive. It has graced seven cribs now—and it’s time to grace a new crib. Time is moving on.

I went downstairs and gave the blanket to my daughter. It’s hers, really.  But my heart aches just a little for how quickly those past twenty-two years went by.  They told me it would go by fast. But I didn’t believe it.

The days can go by so slowly.

As I went about the house tonight, I thought of other things I wouldn’t need any more, things I had been holding on to “just in case.”  A newborn carseat snuggie. A handful of hand-made burp cloths.  A breast pump.  Nursing covers.  I gave them to my daughter.

A surrender of sorts.

I glanced up in my closet and saw bins of baby clothes, and noticed that little green coat that baby #7 outgrew too quickly.  I asked her to wear it so long that the bin it should have been put away in was on the shelf months before I finally put the green coat next to it.  It was time to move on.

“This is silly,” I thought to myself.  Look at those bins, just taking up space in my closet.

And in my heart.

containers

Moving on.

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Newborn.

Up all night.  The sound of little feet.

Math lessons. Tooth fairy.

Grasshoppers. Cricket catching.

Driving tests. Graduation.

College.

Married.

 

Sierra_bates

Moving on.

New life.  And it starts again.

They grow so quickly, don’t they?

It’s impossible to grasp the brevity of the life we live.  I wonder, if we knew how fast the time goes, if we would stop longer, linger more.

Tonight, as I brushed the toddler’s teeth and put her dirt-stained little feet into the sink for a quick rinse, I had to smile to myself.

The world may see motherhood as little more than a “stop over” on the highway of life but I want to see so much more.

I want to soak up the seasons of my life in such a way that it pains me to see them pass.

Today, I felt that pain a little more acutely.

But something tells me that if it hurts, we’re doing it right.

Be surrendered,
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Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

When You Think You’re Failing as a Mother

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It had been one of those mornings.

You know the kind. The kind of the morning when the attitudes and behavior displayed by your children drive you to despair that they will ever become productive, law abiding citizens.

Yeah, that kind.

There was complaining – about everything.

There was selfishness – lots of selfishness.

There were rude comments.

Oh, and did I mention complaining?

All of these things were made exponentially worse by the fact that all 6 of my kids were in the mix. 

As we loaded the car later that morning and headed to my co-op teacher training at a local park, it was hard to muster a smile to cover the insecurity and doubt that I felt about my skills as a mother, a homeschooler and co-op teacher.

It was a beautiful day and the kids eagerly scrambled out of the car onto the playground.

I watched nervously as the other co-op teachers rambled in one by one, parking their cars and unloading their broods.

I wonder if the 8-year old will get mad and push his brother?  How long until the 5-year old begins whining?  Will my awkward tween daughter engage with the other girls her age or will she hang out on her own being – well, awkward?

One teacher’s daughter walked past noticing a mom-of-many littles struggling and offered her assistance.

I observed with gratitude another teacher’s son being kind to my difficult 8-year old. 

Some of the teachers’ older boys started a game of soccer with the younger boys.

Although I was blessed by the other teachers’ well-behaved children at the park, I also began comparing their behavior to my kids’ behavior earlier in the day and couldn’t help but feel even more discouraged.

Our tutor meeting began with light chat and laughter.  How I cherished these women!  Each talented and beautiful in their own way, we talked about how school was going and how we were looking forward to Spring right around the corner. 

We poured over our lessons for the next quarter, marking notes and sharing teaching tips gained by our years of teaching.

As we wrapped things up, one teacher’s son came over to lodge a complaint (the first one of the afternoon) against a sister who was insisting on having her own way.

Another teacher commented how her kids (the helpful one earlier in my tale) had been having issues with stubbornness.  One by one we began to share bits of our struggles with our own kids. 

One child had been on kitchen duty for 4 weeks as he stubbornly refused to do the job consistently without complaining.  I could relate to that – but 4 weeks!  That was pretty bad, yes?

I scanned the horizon, as moms at parks are prone to do, counting heads, making sure all my babes were accounted for.  I noticed my often stubborn son playing peacefully under the slides with another boy. 

My 5-year old leaned into my side, content to play with his toys quietly on the blanket.

My tween was laughing and kicking a soccer ball with the other tweens with apparent ease.  (What she may have been feeling inside is another issue!)

As we packed up to leave and the kids shouted their farewells, I smiled. 

My kids aren’t’ perfect – far from it.  But they are precious works in process – just like me.

Dear mama, if you’re fretting about your kids’ behavior, I want to encourage you that we all are!

 5 Verses of Encouragement for Moms

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

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My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9

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May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13

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I lift my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-4

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Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Never lose heart that the consistent, daily reminders and even consequences and teaching that we give our kids will result in young people who help, who are kind, who are patient. 

 

How to Hang On to the Knot at the End of Your Rope

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You’ve heard the old saying, I’m sure:

When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.

It’s a great visual, isn’t it? But here’s my question, “What do you do next?” I mean you can’t just hang there at the end of your rope, holding on to a knot forever, can you?

I recently found myself nearing the end of my own rope. Living life as a  a wife, mom, and homeschool teacher, who also works from home, blogs, attempts to love my neighbor, and suffers with chronic pain . . well, it all just took it’s toll on me. There were days when I literally felt like a knot was not going to be big enough for me to hang on to. Have you ever had that kind of anxiety, where you feel like you’re on the edge of a cliff, and one small breeze is going to knock you over it. That was me.

Something had to change. Actually some thingS had to change. But I had to begin, and I quickly discovered that figuring out where to begin was the hardest part. The following are the steps I took, and if you, too, are finding yourself at the end of your rope, or standing on the edge of a cliff trying to keep the wind at bay, I hope you will find hope and useful action steps here.

Evaluate

You may need to write this stuff down in order to really see the big picture, but begin evaluating your life.

  • Where are you spending your time? Be honest with yourself.
  • What is the focus of most of your energy?
  • Whose needs are you expected to meet on a daily or weekly basis. Are you doing so?
  • Why are you over-committed?

It didn’t take me long to figure out that I was spending much more time and energy on projects outside of my responsibilities as a wife and homeschool mom, than I should be. While I was serving my clients and readers well, I was doing a poor job of serving my family. The house was a mess, not enough homeschooling was getting done, we were eating more take-out than home-cooked meals, and I was not sleeping enough. This upside-down way of living will cause tremendous stress, not only because you will not have enough time in your days, but also because it will cause your relationships to suffer. Not to mention the exhaustion. Eventually, the lack of sleep will catch up with you. It did with me. And as a middle-aged woman living with auto-immune disease, this is probably the part that was tipping me over the edge the most.

The cause of your upside-down living might be different than mine. Perhaps you’re spending too much time serving your church (you can do that, really) or your community. Maybe you’re allowing friends or neighbors to take advantage of your time because you have a hard time saying, “no.” After all, you’re just a stay-at-home-mom, right? You have all the time in the world!

Whatever it is, write it all down. Be honest with yourself.

Eliminate

Begin eliminating what you can, as soon as you can. I was in a position with my main work client where I needed to finish out a project for a few months before I could step out. There were a few smaller jobs I could drop much sooner though, and I did. Right away, I began turning down new offers.

Purpose yourself right now to begin saying “no” to anything that does not benefit your main goal — for me that was serving my family better and getting more rest. Within a couple of weeks of finally getting to a good place, I was offered 3 more jobs. These were great opportunities that the old me would have jumped at. But I was firm in my resolve, and today, there are no regrets for saying, “no.”

Equip

When you have been accustomed to living at breakneck speed for a long time, and then find yourself with time on your hands again, it will be easy to slip back into old habits. Equip yourself now to prevent that from happening. Here are a few things you can do:

  • Purpose to put first things first.
  • Practice saying, “no.”
  • Pray before saying “yes” to any new opportunities.

Enjoy

If you’re hanging from a knot, then chances are you have not been enjoying life much. It is not as easy to slow down as one might think. You will suddenly feel as though you are wasting time by not filling every minute with some kind of purposeful activity. You’re not. Take time to begin enjoying life again. Spend time with your family, see a movie, go to the park, bake cookies. Seriously . . . these were things I struggled to find time for. I could not even take a vacation with my family without either working double time before and after, or working from the hotel room at night. It was crazy. Everyone needs down time. Don’t feel guilty about taking some for yourself.

It’s been a few months since I made some major changes in how I’m spending my time and how I serve my family. I still have work to do, but there has been much progress.

How are you doing, busy mom? Are you hanging on to a knot, trying to figure out what to do next? Take heart. There is a way out. Trust me . . . if I can find it, you can do.

How Does a Mom Become a Strong Woman of Faith?

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There have been so many amazing women throughout history who have been courageous, faithful and stood strong in the faith through severe trials and suffering. I’ve admired them and prayed that I could someday become like them.

Then God made me a mom.

I thought having children would hold much reward and gratification, and I was right. But what I didn’t realize was how much God would use motherhood to help me become a stronger woman of faith.

I’ve experienced the depths of sorrow as I lost 5 babies to miscarriage. I felt the height of joy and thankfulness as each of our eight children was born.  I felt the grip of overwhelming grief while walking alongside our oldest daughter as she gave birth to her firstborn and buried him a week later.  I felt helpless and out of control as our young newborn recovered from major open heart surgery, spending 2 months in the hospital with his life hanging in the balance.

God grew me during these trials, but He also used them to show me how He had already greatly increased my faith in the simplest of ways through motherhood. As I daily mothered our children, He used those daily struggles – the ones hidden from everyone else’s eyes, the ones He and I walked through together – to lay a firm foundation of faith that would uphold me and glorify Him when I walked through the fire.

God is in the big things, but He is also very much in the small, seemingly insignificant things.

Being a mom brings us to our knees for so many reasons: sleep deprivation, wayward children, struggling marriages, physical challenges, being “on” 24/7, physical, mental and emotional exhaustion and so much more.  The one thing we all have in common, though, is that we love our kids to the moon and back. We want only the best for them, but we realize about three seconds after they are born that we really don’t know exactly what that is. And so we run to our Father over and over and over again. He continues to lead us, one day and one decision at a time.

Our prayers are often simple, desperate pleas for mercy, for wisdom, for grace. They really are more childlike than “adult.” Why is that? Because our hearts are raw when it comes to our children. There is something so instinctive about crying out on our children’s behalf that we no longer care about fancy words or pretense. We are desperate and needy, and that’s exactly where God wants us.

In Matthew 11:25, Jesus said, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.”

It’s in these vulnerable moments, when we come in childlike faith, that God reveals Himself to us. As that happens several times a day, for weeks, months and years, our crying out and God’s subsequent revealing become a way of life for us. In that process we become familiar with what Jesus meant when he said later in the same passage,

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Mt. 11:28,29)

It’s in this place that we become strong. The world tells us that we have to be strong, but God says that in our weakness He becomes strong. His mighty power surges through us when we are submitted to Him at our weakest point.

So relax, Mom. You don’t have to make yourself strong. You don’t have to be everything. You simply need take on His easy yoke and His light burden. Let God use your weakness to help you become a strong woman of faith.

Finding REST in a Frightening, Chaotic World

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REST-in-chaos

As I was preparing to write this, there was yet another mass shooting in our country.  It has become clear that this is not going away.  Fear seems to be a blanket that is beginning to hang in the air like a thick fog.  It lifts every now and then, but not for very long.

It’s not just the shootings, it’s the response of Christians to each other, the lack of solid leadership in our country, natural disasters and more.  It feels like the world is on fire.  We fear for our children and grandchildren.  We feel helpless and deep down inside, we can’t help but hear the insidious voice of the enemy hissing, “Where is your God?”

I’m here to tell you that OUR GOD IS ALIVE AND WELL!   He is still on the throne, and He is sovereign and good and loving. (Psalm 62).  He loves his people and nothing touches us unless it passes through his loving hand FIRST.

But when we feel like everything is falling apart, chaotic, and just plain frightening, what is it that we are desperately needing, wanting, scrambling for?  REST.  And God says we will never find it apart from him.

So I’m giving you some tools for your tool box to help you find REST.  Practical.  Time tested. Unchanging.  We have very little control in this life, but we CAN choose to give God his rightful place on the throne of our hearts which in turn will give us the rest we so desperately need. 

R-Read (and meditate) on God’s word.

The times and culture changes, but Isaiah 40:8 tells us that God’s word stands forever. If we are going to anchor our life in anything, it should be something that will stand the test of time.

Hebrews 4:12 says that the word is living and active and  gives us discernment. Isn’t that what we need as wives, moms and as believers?

Isaiah 55:11 says that God’s word always produces fruit. So even if you are a busy mom who gets little snippets of time here and there in His word, God promises that it will be productive! I think he also has a very soft spot in his heart for each one of our situations. He knows the demands on our lives and he gently leads us with grace and mercy. (Isaiah 40:11)

Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom, get out your Bible and READ it! Psalms and Proverbs are solid and practical.  You can also use a topical study Bible to search God’s word for specific subjects.  I love using my journaling Bible and have a highlighter and pen handy for marking certain verses that stand out to me and making notes as to what God is showing me. It’s also easier to find them again if I want to reference them later.  Write key verses out on cards and hang them in places you will read them often.

E-Exalt Him.

I can’t tell you how important it is that we worship God. We are all created to worship and we are worshiping something or someone every moment. God created us to worship HIM and when we do that, we are not only acting in obedience to Him, we are turning our eyes toward Him and focusing on who He is. In that process, He becomes bigger and our problems become smaller. It changes our desires and aligns our hearts with his.  Turn on the praise and worship music and let it fill your home, your car, your heart and your mind.

S-Be Still.

This is a tough one, but absolutely essential to hearing from God. As busy moms, we often feel like we simply can. not. stop. The reality is that we actually can.   Maybe we cannot stay up a little later than the kids or get up a little earlier.  But maybe we could utilize nap time instead of trying to get more done, use quiet times in the car, take a walk, ask our husbands to watch the kids for 20 minutes while we sit someplace that we can be alone.  If remotely possible, I love to do this while taking a short rest or before I get up in the mornings (pretending to be asleep)!  Even if we only find ourselves with a few moments here and there throughout the day to pause and quiet our hearts before the Lord, there will be a good return!

The biggest help for me lately has been putting my phone in airplane mode. I wouldn’t call myself a phone addict, but as I’ve been more careful to make time to quiet my heart, I can see that I actually do spend  more time there than I should. The reality is that I am making a trade off every time I choose to be on my phone… even for 2 minutes, because it takes my mind a different direction.  I am suddenly way less intentional.

When we shut everything off and choose to wait on the Lord, carefully listening for His voice, we give him his rightful place in our hearts. We give him time and space to speak to us. Essentially, we say, “Lord, You are more important to me than anything else.”

T-Take your thoughts captive.

We are engaged in a spiritual battle every.single.day.  (2 Corin. 10:3-5) We cannot ever, ever forget that! Our battle is NOT against flesh and blood and the battle begins with our thoughts. In order to have victory over our enemy, we must keep a close watch on where our minds are. Have you ever noticed that when a feeling of unrest comes over you and you stop to realize what it is that you’re thinking about, it’s NEVER good? Our emotions can serve as a red flag that our thoughts are going places they shouldn’t.  (Phil. 4:8)

One of the best ways to combat anxiety and lack of rest is gratitude (1 Thes. 5:18).  “God asks us to show Him gratitude in the dark times of change because He knows that’s how we find Him in the dark.” (Kristin Strong)

Instead of being fearfully distracted, let’s be intentionally faith filled.

Our kids are watching us. We are showing them by example whether God is loving or not, whether he is sovereign or not, whether he is trustworthy or not.  Let’s show them that He truly IS all of those things.  Let’s leave a legacy of faith, for their sake and for ours!

Be kind to yourself, Mom!

To the Mom Who’s Forgotten to Be Kind to Herself

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Be kind to yourself, Mom!

 

I sat back in my chair, exhausted. I closed my eyes and tried to take in the praise and worship music that was playing. Suddenly I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. Until that moment, I had no idea how burdened I was.

As moms we tend to do that, don’t we? We take responsibility for huge parts of our circumstances and relationships as we navigate our marriages, children, and ministries. Often it feels like more than we can bear.

As I talk to other moms along the way, the one thing we all seem to have in common is guilt and often a heavy dose of condemnation.  Moms with babies worry about things like whether they co sleep, or cloth diaper, or what they feed their little ones. Moms of young children wonder if they are getting an early enough start on school, whether or not their child is keeping up educationally with others their own age or whether they are over protective or not protective enough.

Middle school and high school moms question whether or not they are being too hard on their kids, or not hard enough, letting go too soon or not soon enough. We worry that our kids aren’t going to like us or if we will ever have a peaceful relationship with them again. We say and do things we never thought we would and sometimes, in the heat of the moment, things we regret.

And moms with adult children sometimes see gaps in character or lack of maturity and are painfully aware that it’s too late to be the one to fix it. We feel regret.

Maybe you’re the mom whose family is undergoing great trials…trials you never expected or maybe even ones that you feel that you’ve brought on yourself? Life is HARD. It’s not what you had pictured for your family.

And then it comes…the heavy, wet blanket of condemnation. It’s suffocating. It’s debilitating. It makes us feel hopeless and alone.

And that’s EXACTLY what the enemy wants. Yes, you heard me right. This isn’t what it appears to be. It isn’t about us being the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect friend. This is a spiritual battle that the enemy wages on our souls to do what He does best…steal, kill and destroy. He knows if he can disarm us, or at the very least discourage us, he neutralizes our effectiveness for the kingdom of God.

It’s time to declare war! We need to be persistent in taking back what belongs to us. God said, “So there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.” (Romans 8:1,2)

Did you hear that? NO condemnation. What does He give instead? He gives us His Spirit. He gives us FREEDOM. “So if the son sets you free, you are truly FREE!” (John 8:36)

Free to what? Free to trust God! Free to believe that what He says IS TRUE…”And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28)

God knows we are weak. He knows we are dust. He has more than enough grace and power to cover our mistakes. And at the end of the day, when we doubt our decisions, we need to bring that doubt to God, repent if we need to, and ask for His covering. God is the GREAT Redeemer. He can even take what the Enemy intends for evil and turn it into good.

Maybe these feelings are really signals to pray over those specific realms. We need to take those areas we feel condemnation and make them part of our prayer strategy!

And we really need to stop being so harsh with ourselves. We are going to make mistakes. We are going to sin. But the minute we forget that we are saved by grace and are called to continue to live by grace, we give the Enemy a foothold he should never, ever have and, quite frankly, has no right to.

Jesus paid a great price for this freedom we have in Him. It’s ours for the taking. He loves to see us enjoy this gift just like we love to watch our kids enjoy the good gifts we give them.

Be kind to yourself, because HE is. His heart toward you is tender and it is good. Rest in it.