When You Don’t Feel Strong as a Mom

A few years ago, I had the privilege of meeting Arlene Pellicane in Little Rock. We were both there to record broadcasts with Family Life Today. We didn’t have more than a meal together but let me tell you, this woman has passion!  I think her new book will be a blessing to our awesome readers here at The Busy Mom—so we’re doing a giveaway!

Arlene has a new book out called 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom.  We’re giving away a copy to a Busy Mom reader, so read through to the end for more on the book and details on how to enter!


There’s a wonderfully inspiring story in Judges 6 about an unlikely warrior: Gideon.

Believe it or not, you probably have something in common.

The Lord tells Gideon to “go in the strength that you have” and Gideon replies, “How can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” Instead of being the best of the best, Gideon was pointing out he was the worst of the worst.

Can you relate with Gideon? Instead of feeling like you were born from a long line of happy, healthy moms, maybe you come from a dysfunctional family. Broken doesn’t begin to describe it. Yet God delights in working powerfully through weak people; people like Gideon, Rahab and Ruth to name a few people from the Bible.

Don’t let your past family life determine your present family life. You have your own story to write.

I remember when I had my first child, Ethan, I had no idea how to hold a baby. I could put my hands under his little armpits and pull him in close. That was about it. Some of my friends who weren’t even moms seemed so much more comfortable holding my little lump, turning him upside down and right side up and cradling him like a football.

I wasn’t equipped with baby know-how or born with natural instincts. I was just hoping not to drop him! I had a lot to learn. Going in the strength that we have means coming as we are. God doesn’t expect you to be like the culinary mom on your left or interior decorator mom on your right. He wants you to come as you are with all your strengths and weaknesses, and with a willing heart to learn.

The good news is that God will surround you with people who can help you as a mom if you will let them. When Noelle was about three, she would throw a fit every time I tried to wash her face. She’d jerk to the left and right, squirm and complain. It drove me nuts. But when my husband James washed her face, she was perfectly still. She almost tilted her head back angelically while he washed her face with ease.

One day, I humbled myself and asked James, “How do you get Noelle to do that? She’s never still for me.” James replied, “Oh, it’s easy. Noelle knows she can get away with that with you. But she knows I won’t stand for it.”

Of course, my first reaction was, “Well, LA-DEE-DA for you!” But as I thought it over, I knew he was right. There was no fooling around with daddy. So, the next time we were at the sink, I went on the offensive with my new found strength.

“Noelle, from now on, you will treat me like you treat daddy when we’re at the sink or else you will be disciplined.” She pushed me, I gave her the discipline, and our sink struggle ended after a few encounters just like that.

Part of becoming a mom warrior is humbling yourself and learning from others (ouch…even from your husband).

Say it out loud today: I am a mighty warrior mom because of Christ!

Arlene

arlene

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. She is also the co-author of Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World (with Gary Chapman). She has been a featured guest on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, The 700 Club, and Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah.
Arlene lives in the San Diego area with her husband James and their three children.
To learn more and for free family resources such as a monthly Happy Home podcast, visit ArlenePellicane.com.


Happy Mom cover

Does it ever seem like you’re taking orders from your children instead of the other way around?

In this encouraging, eye-opening book, you’ll discover how to lead your home effectively…and happily.  Arlene has interviewed numerous happy mom experts like Kendra Smiley, Fern Nichols, Dannah Gresh, Karen Ehman, and Laura Petherbridge.

Organized in short chapters that even the busiest mom can read, you’ll become more:

H – Healthy
A – Action-Oriented
P – Prayerful
P – Perseverant
Y – Yes-Filled

The book includes a “Happy Mom Discussion Guide” to enhance your personal study or for a group study.

This entry was posted in Heidi's Favorite Things, MomStrong Parenting and tagged on by .

About Heidi St. John

Heidi has been married to her husband Jay since 1989. Together they have seven children and three grandchildren! The St. Johns homeschooled their kids all the way through high school. Heidi is the the author of seven books, host of the popular podcast "Off the Bench," and the founder of MomStrong International, an online community of women learning God's Word and how to apply it to every day life. She and her husband Jay are also the founders of Firmly Planted Family and the Firmly Planted Homeschool Resource Center, located in Vancouver, Washington.

24 thoughts on “When You Don’t Feel Strong as a Mom

  1. Sarah

    Sounds like a neat book! The best thing I do each day is to start out walking with the Lord– literally! It’s difficult at times when the kids want to come with, my husband needs extra attention, or it’s just been a crazy morning (all before 7am). But my time with God is priceless, and since making it a point to go on a daily prayer walk, life has been so much more joyful and peaceful. Christ’s my rock and where I find my true joy, and I NEED time ALONE with Him daily!! Add that with quiet Bible time and family devotions, and we’ve had a great day no matter what else comes our way… He is Good! 🙂

    Reply
  2. Daphne

    This stressed out homeschooling, breastfeeding mom of 3 NEEDS this book! Building a house, helping husband own a business, meeting the demands of my politically active life and all the demands of a 9, 4, and 10 month-old is HARD! I just want to be the happy mom again.

    Reply
  3. Rebeca

    Ditto Daphne. Parenting my 8,5,3 and 1 year old has been weighing heavy on me these days. The bickering is really working at getting me down. I can’t imagine how things will be this fall when I go from 1 homeschool pupil to 2. I’m feeling overwhelmed and it isn’t even September yet.

    Reply
  4. Jessica

    I agree with Sarah. I also need my time with the Lord because if I don’t seek Him out in the morniing I can get in a bad mood quickly. I try to be joyous instead of happy because happiness fades very quickly if something goes wrong but you can be joyous even when things get tough by remembering that you are not alone no matter the stage of motherhood you are in….. God is right beside you and He will never leave you nor forsake you. He can help you if you seek Him and surrender your heart, you children, your husband, everything to Him. I find comfort in knowing that and that helps me be a joyous mom. Oh and also waking up early and being ready before my children wake up also helps me a lot! 🙂

    Reply
  5. Nikki Howell

    This book is an answered prayer. I have been stuggling to be truely happy with mom life lately. Feeling defieted constantly. Thank you for sharing it!

    Reply
  6. Adina

    Ever since my fifth child was born (a year ago), I have struggled with keeping a happy attitude in my home. I have a goal to read books that will help me stay successful with my attitude so I know this book would be a blessing. Can’t wait to read it!

    Reply
  7. Cheryn

    Happy? What’s that? I do come from a dysfunctional family. While I can list the ways my adult home is different I can look in the mirror and see my mom – cranky, not smiling, and tired. I’m willing to learn!

    Reply
  8. Amber Barrett

    What a blessing to be a mother. When there are struggles I always try and remember how blessed I am to have been given such a wonderful gift and how fleeting this time is. I don’t think I ever felt closer to the Lord than with these long (but oh so short) days as a young mom. What a strong woman it has made me, a better woman. For that I am so grateful.

    Reply
  9. Michelle A

    I struggle almost daily to be a happy mom. The stresses of motherhood and other ongoing things in my life,coupled with my shortcomings, want to rob me of happiness and fill me with anger instead. Thank the good Lord for never giving up on me and for a new start every day I’m blessed to open my eyes in the morning!

    Reply
  10. KM

    Menopause Mama and 16 year-old spit-fire, youngest of 6…God has a sense of humor and his daughter (me) needs a good dose of it. Lost it in shuffle of disheveled house, school and life.

    Reply
  11. Ally

    I have become more and more aware, by God’s grace, that my unhappiness in mothering is due to my own selfishness! I don’t like having my to- do list put on hold! But what I need is to be more service minded! Serving my family joyfully, even in the mundane!

    Reply
  12. Chantel Poisel

    Oh yes, definitely struggle to be happy here! I know God is good, all the time, but sometimes it is challenging to LIVE that truth and find happiness in the every day. This book sounds really interesting!

    Reply
  13. Jennifer marshall

    Hmmmmm. The key to being a happy mom…. Grace and prayer! Some days it’s hard though. I have 5 children and 2 have special needs. There are many hard days..I’m always looking for new inspiring ideas! I’d love this book!

    Reply
  14. taryn

    i try so very hard to be a happy mom but the struggle is definitely there. i just get so frustrated so easily 🙁

    Reply
  15. Melissa

    My mother was always a great example of a Happy mom. I struggle more than I would like to be the Happy mom I want to be!

    Reply
  16. Kelley

    I struggle to be a happy mom, which makes me feel guilty bc I am a,Christian and know I am so blessed. Thank you for your post aND encouragement.

    Reply

Leave a Reply to Michele Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *