Parenting can be a lonely business. Especially where parenting teens in concerned.
If you would have told me twenty-two years ago that one of my bubbly, bright-eyed, adorable little babies would ever be disrespectful or rude to me, I would have said, “not a chance.” After all, my stellar parenting skills and unconditional love would prevent it. Right?
Wrong. My “stellar parenting” skills are sometimes lacking. I’ve experienced a toddler meltdown and a sassy teen. I’ve been humbled by parenting. It’s the thing that brings me to my knees more than any other thing.
Dr. James Dobson once said, “Parenting is not for cowards.” He was right. Today, parents are challenged to know every app that can drag their kids further into the Internet. I know moms who sleep with one eye on the computer and another on the television. We’ve been charged with taking care of a generation of kids who have virtual friends—and some of them are no good.
Parenting isn’t for cowards. It takes a certain bravery to say “no” to that sleepover or that cell phone that your teen wants but which you can’t afford or which they do not deserve or need. It takes bravery give direction to your teen when it feels counter-cultural.
There is a certain “lull” in cyberspace where mothers of teens are concerned. We don’t want to share to much for fear of embarrassing our kids (this is commonly referred to as ‘over-sharing.’) We don’t like to admit that our kids, whom we love deeply, can be a source of pain for us. It can be lonely.
I’ve come to believe that mothers are called to a sort of “quiet” perseverance—especially during the teen years. If this is you, be encouraged. Parenting is tough—even for great parents of great kids! Toddler taming has challenges to be sure, but as we get older, it can be more challenging.
There is something about adolescence that can test a mom’s resolve. Just how strong am I? Parenting teens will help you find out.
I have struggled through days when I did not know if I my adult children would still be my friends. Funny, now that two of my kids are on their own, I still struggle with this same question when it comes to my younger ones. I wonder how long I can be strong—and yet I know that now is not the time to sit on the bench. Too much is at stake.
Stand your ground, precious mom. Stand guard over your child’s heart. Persevere because your kids are worth it.
Tired moms offer some of heaven’s best prayers. Keep them coming. Parent with perseverance.
The best is yet to come!
So so true
Everywhere around me I see strong women and I feel like an utter failure. I lack the emotional stability and strength to persevere. Having a teen that hates me, a pre-schooler, and toddler which I want to homeschool and I’m questioning my ability to do that when I can’t get anyone to follow instruction. I’m doing my best, but it’s just not good enough.
Stephanie, I’m sorry things are so hard right now. I appreciate your honesty! It’s just a hunch, but I think every good mother has been “hated” by her teens at least once! Your job is to set the course. Don’t worry about doing everything perfectly. There are no perfect mothers. Perseverance is about success through struggle, and sometimes, that’s the only way we get through is just through prayer and perseverance. You can do it. Hang in there.
Thank you Heidi for another fabulous dose of encouragement! As a mom of teen girl, I know the challenges we face daily to keep on top of her to make sure she is making the right decisions. It’s so unfair to our teens to assume they will figure out this crazy virtual world without our guidance. I am the mom with one eye on the computer in order to protect her. 🙂
Good mom, Laura! We’ll sleep with one eye open for a few years, I think. 🙂 Man, this is tough stuff!
Oh boy… This couldn’t have come at a better time. Had a week from hell with a teenager who has been cruel, stubborn and disrespectful. It’s so hard being a single Mom. I needed to hear that I’m not alone in this. Thank you
Hang in there, Bridget! Be the mom – you can do it! ((hugs))
This is a great post, Heidi. SO true! I relate to what you said about having raised two into adulthood, how you worried about whether or not they would remain your friends and how even after that, you still worry about the ones still at home for the same reason. Raising teenagers has challenged me to the core, humbled me, caused me to examine and re-examine my heart over and over, taken me to the foot of the cross on a daily basis and caused me to realize just how utterly dependent I am on Him for everything. I haven’t even raised boys into the teens yet….but girls sure are a challenge. 🙂 I have about six months left until boy number one enters the teen years. This, I am sure, will be a similar but very different ride. Thanks for all you share to encourage all the moms in the trenches. 🙂
Boy isn’t that the truth—as I get older I find I know less and I’m more dependent on prayer. Thanks for stopping by, dear Jana!