Dear Mama of Only Little Ones

Dear Mama of Only Little Ones

Ten years ago I found myself in a pretty desperate situation. I had 3 babies in 3 years. For me, yes, it was a desperate time. Now, ten years later, I can smile and look back with gratitude on those years. But, I won’t lie. They were some of the hardest years of my life.

If I could go back and have a little talk with myself 10 years ago, I think these are some of the things I would say to that frazzled mama…

Dear mama with only little ones,

I am not going to tell you to enjoy every moment because they grow so quickly. I’m not going to say it! We all know that to be true, as we reflect back on various stages of our lives, but don’t worry, I’m not actually going to speak those words to you.

Because when you’re in the throes of life with babies and toddlers, each day can feel like a million years. Each moment can leave you breathless and desperate. In my own situation, that third baby in three years left me reeling and struggling with depression that lasted for several years.

What I will tell you is that it’s okay to admit it’s hard. Don’t try to do this on your own. Don’t shy away from others helping you. Let them in. You will be so glad you did. This season is hard and it’s okay to say that out loud. 

I will also tell you to talk to your husband. Tell him how hard it is. Tell him how much you need his help. Let this time in your life grow your marriage and not put a strain on it by not communicating. Let your husband in, it’s a good thing for him to know you’re struggling. 

I will tell you to get get creative. Take your kids to the park and read a book while the baby naps in the stroller. Hire a mother’s helper for a few hours a week so you can have a few hours of peace. Nap when they nap. Meet another mom at Chick-Fil-A and let the little ones run off all their energy.  Sometimes getting out of the house is the hardest thing to do, but usually it ends up being a blessing! 

Finally, I will tell you that you are so, so loved. Oh weary mama, you are not alone. You may feel alone and cooped up in your home with no escape. You may even be jealous of your husband getting to leave the house to go to work. {Not that I can relate to that feeling, mind you. grin.} You may wonder why in the world God made you a mama when you feel so inadequate. Oh how many times I’ve cried out to the Lord and asked Him, “WHY, Lord, I cannot do this one more day.”

Sweet mama of only little ones, He hears your cries. He answers your prayers by giving you more of Himself. This season in your life is part of your sanctification process. God is slowly teaching us to put those little people before ourselves. He is slowly stripping us of our selfishness. He is allowing these long days to give us an extra dose of long suffering. He is making you like Jesus, dear one. 

You don’t have to be strong or adequate on your own. In our weakness, HIS strength is magnified, HIS strength is made perfect, HE is glorified. This truth gives me such hope. I don’t have to be strong on my own. Praise Him, we have a STRONG Savior.

You may not see what He is doing right at this moment. But, you trust Him because He is faithful. Just like we are busy planting seeds in our children’s hearts, our faithful Father is working away on our hearts as well. I don’t know about you, but I’m so thankful that He isn’t finished with me yet!

signature_candace

 

18 thoughts on “Dear Mama of Only Little Ones

  1. Rachel

    I am currently a mom of only little ones (3 in 3 years!) My oldest just turned 3 this month! I needed this today! I love these babies and this time but it is often a challenge. Thank you for your encouragement!

    Reply
    1. Candace

      Rachel, I so vividly remember those years of 3 tinies. Such a blessing for sure!! But at the time I was so afraid to say THIS IS THE HARDEST THING I’VE EVER DONE. I had been a kindergarten teacher and LOVED teaching and thought if I could handle 25 little ones and enjoy it, surely 3 wouldn’t be so bad?!? LOL!! Oh how much I’ve learned. 🙂 Hang in there…I’m glad you stopped by today. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Amber

    I am also a mom of 3 littles…(they are 3,1, and 5 months). This is so encouraging! Thank you so much for your words this morning as I begin my day with my sweet babies. I love them to pieces but the days are long & I find I’ve never been so tired in my life as I am now. I am very thankful to have been blessed to have them & stay home with them. I know it’s worth it!

    Reply
  3. robin

    I have had 5 in five years and I’ve just come to the realization that this is my life for now, not always. I think accepting that has helped me to not feel rushed, impatient or desperate. It’s busy everyday and I’m needed every second but I realize I have a job to do and God is working in me to help me each and every day. And I try to get out often with the kiddos for my sanity and theirs. I didn’t have depression but a friend of mine did and it’s heartbreaking to see I can’t imagine how that must have felt. Thanks for sharing

    Reply
  4. rebecca

    I’m a mom of 4, ages 5 months to 6 1/2, and I homeschool my oldest. I too feel like a failure all the time. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom, but never realized how hard it really is. My husband works swing shift, 12 hrs, so I’m single momming it alot. God is definitely stretching and growing me. Thank you for this blog. I’ve often found encouragement from here.

    Reply
    1. Heidi

      Rebecca, it’s so good to know we’re not alone! I remember many years ago when I had many littles at home, an “older” mom hugged me and said, she “understood” and that it would be wortoh it. She was right. This journey you’re on will be worth it, I promise. I’m so glad you’re encouraged over here at my little corner of the Internet. Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  5. Stacy

    I become a mom of three littles ones I’m TWO years! Had a 16 month old when our twin girls were born! My life went from a busy mom to chaotic mess mom! Lol. It has ups and down, but overall I know I’m so blessed beyond measure to be a mom to my three little ones now 3 years old and twins are 18 months old. Thanks for the encouragement! I depend and lean upon Gods strength daily! No matter each mom’s situation, we are all in motherhood together! To encourage, to cry with, to laugh with, to simply help each other grow as a mother in The Lord. Each phase has different challenges, and it’s always good to know you’re not alone! Thanks so much!

    Reply
  6. nettie

    Thank you so much for sharing and your transparency. My third was born when my oldest was 29 months and the third is now 6 months. I laughed out loud when you said you weren’t going to say that time goes by so fast 🙂 I’ve struggled with ppd after each baby and just now I’m getting help for it finally. Your timing with this article is such a God thing. Thank you!!

    Reply
    1. Candace Crabtree Post author

      Nettie, I’m so glad you got a laugh out of that line. I have to admit to feeling some anger inside from time to time if one.more.person said that to me. LOL!! And now, here I am on the “other” side with my baby having just turned 10 years old. Wow. Where did the time go!?! HA!!

      Reply
  7. Stephanie

    Oh my… how I needed to read this right now. Some days I feel like I’m the only mom with this many kids in this many years, even though I know I’m not. And I feel horrible that I’m just surviving, and barely that, when I’m supposed to be experiencing this most wonderful time of my life. Mine are 3, 2, & almost 1, and now that the “baby” is rapidly becoming a toddler, but the 3yo is struggling and not functioning at a 3yo level… I just keep wondering, is this ever going to end? Everything has crayon on it. Every surface has a sticker. It’s non-stop, all day, and I’m so mentally worn out that I don’t even know how to improve anything. You have no idea (well, I guess you do!) how much it helps to see a women who’s survived these years and hasn’t forgotten just how hard it is!

    Reply
  8. Carol

    THANK YOU FOR THIS. I’m a mother of 3 (5,3, and 9 months) and I feel tired, weary, depressed and with no family around to help with the little ones… It’s been so hard but I can’t imagine my life without them… I’m grateful that I have a husband who comes from work to help. Praise God for that! Love your post.

    Reply
  9. Chrissy

    Such an encouraging post! I really like the part about “Let your husband in, it’s a good thing for him to know you’re struggling.” I can’t agree more! Will definitely keep reading 🙂

    Chrissy

    Reply
  10. Lauren

    I’m pretty sure you wrote this article specifically for me. I have 5 babies, all 5 and under and a husband that is gone more than he’s home (thank you, Marine Corps!)…boy am I overwhelmed. Most days, it’s a chore to even get out of bed, because I know it’s going to be diapers and bottles and fighting and messes and whining (most of those last 3 things are my own, LOL).
    This Mom Business is truly the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Oh, how I wish we could have coffee and chat sometime. It makes my heart happy to know this season is survivable, but it’s also a very lonely season. I guess we just all try and make the best of it and most importantly, try to stay out of the loony bin. 🙂
    Thanks for the encouragement!

    Reply
  11. SHELBI

    I am a proud mommy of 2 little ones within less than a year! I have a 1 year old as of June and a 2 month old as of May! She was a preemie born two months early or else they would’ve been a year apart! With that being said it has been the most stressful and most tiring first two months! With her being in the NiCU for the first 3 weeks of life and having anot her little one at home it is so hard to juggle everything! But I know God is doing this so I can find strength in him. Which trust me I have turned to him more than I have in these last few months than I have my whole life. I believe this happened to save me. It happened to help me find him again. This post is incredible and describes my life to a T! Thank you!

    Reply

Leave a Reply to Candace Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *