I’m so excited to share this guest post with you today.  My friend, Rachel Martin writes encouraging letters for weary, tired, anxious, persevering moms just like you, and this post about comparison is just what many of us need to hear today, tomorrow and every day following! So rest today, Mom, as you enjoy this encouragement from Rachel! ~ 

A friend once told me that comparison is the death of contentment. She told it to me as I wandered the aisles of her homeschool store browsing catalogs, brochures, books, and math manipulatives while the whole time working myself into a giant ball of anxiety. I kept seeing all the things that I didn’t finish and wishing that I had more time. I felt like I was failing as a homeschool mother. In fact, in that moment I felt like I was plain and simple not measuring up.

My homeschool story that year looked nothing like I had imagined. I had dreamed of that ideal year where every single thing seems to go perfectly. You know, the hypothetical times when all the math facts are learned in record time, handwriting is a breeze, science actually includes an experiment and is cleaned up, and dinner is well prepared, executed, totally nutritious, and enjoyed by everyone. I left no space in my life for real life. Toddlers, preschoolers, middle schoolers, and highschoolers. I left no space for relationships and the inevitable bad days and running a home. And I didn’t leave space for illness or those times where you’re stopped in your tracks and forced to change course.

That was the year my youngest son Samuel was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. That was the year where I had the grandiose plans – the dreams of the perfect year – and within weeks of beginning that year’s journey they were quickly being extinguished. Instead of math there were trips to the doctor. Instead of fabulous salt dough models of the continental plates I was instead spending time researching what might be wrong. By the time he was finally diagnosed – praise God we got that diagnosis – my year was literally a mess according to my written out master plans.

It was then, in the April of that long year of having to let go of this and that and the dream of the hypothetical perfect year that I stood in that homeschool store with tears in my eyes feeling like my journey looked nothing like what I thought it would look like. Comparison was rearing it’s very ugly and subtle head – sabotaging all of the most beautiful life learning things we had accomplished and instead replacing it with the lies of you’re failing and your kids are behind and you are a lousy teacher. I saw a reflection of my year that was so different from the truth.

As I stood at a counter with a stack of books hoping to redeem that year, that long hard year of health issues and rediscovering normal in the midst of Celiac Disease, my dear friend Nancy looked me straight in the eye and told me to put almost all of the books back. Now, mind you, she owned the store and she told me to replace almost all of those books because she knew I was using those books to try to cover up my feelings of not measuring up. I told her how I wasn’t doing well and how I was worried that the other moms were doing this and I quickly uttered how I thought we were supposed to be doing this at this point in the year. Then, God bless her, she looked me straight in the eyes and said it to me again.

Comparison is the death of contentment.

Amen. Do you need to hear those words today as we near the end of May? Are you sitting in your home right now worrying that your year isn’t where you wanted it to be? Are you looking at the other moms you know and comparing your life to theirs?

Stop. Please stop dear mother. I have written about failing and not measuring up and feeling overwhelmed with life. And do you know what I write about? What I’ve discovered? That you, right now, have probably done way more than you even see. Stop and remember. Remember the little things, the moments in your life and in your year that were perhaps so simple and yet so beautifully extraordinary. Those are gifts tucked within a year that sometimes we don’t see when we rush through our lives racing to check the next thing off of the list.

Comparison pushes us to keep checking things off the list – not because we’re moving at the rhythm of our family, but rather because we’re afraid we won’t keep up with the hypothetical perfect vision we have of other people’s lives. Breathe, sweet mother, breathe. You, right now, have done amazing things, and just need a moment to remember.

The Lord is gracious to us. That year with Samuel being sick perhaps wasn’t the year where I checked every single box in my planner. But that year? That was the year where I learned a bit about the gift of grace. The Lord is gracious to us, my friends. Are you willing to extend that grace to yourself in the midst of your journey? The truth is that we learned about being a family during those days that we fought for health for Samuel. We learned a great deal about nutrition and gluten and doctors and how to cook a totally different way. We learned about contentment and how we so quickly had looked at food as a source of contentment. We learned to gather around the table and pray and fight and thank the Lord. We still learned, but I just wasn’t seeing it when I looked at my life through the lens of comparison.

Dear mother, today, today take a look at your heart and examine where you’re letting that subtle grip of comparison steal your joy. When we compare we lose some of our gratitude for our own lives. Look at others, celebrate their victories, learn from them, but do not let them define you. Your definition does not come from man – it comes from our Lord – and He has mighty plans for you.

Rachel Martin is focused on living an intentional and joy-filled life. Her blog Finding Joy is a respite in the busy world of motherhood – and through letters, humor, notes of hope, and practical steps Rachel writes speaking words of encouragement intended for the busy mother’s heart. She is the mother to seven amazing children and wife to one cancer surviving husband and her days are spent balancing homeschooling, running a household, and writing. Her youngest son, Samuel, was diagnosed with Celiac Disease in January 2011 and since then Rachel has also become a passionate advocate for Celiac Disease Awareness.

She speaks on intentional living, finding joy in the moments in life, goal setting, balancing homeschooling, family and working, and living a life that embraces the gift found in today. Her Dear Mom Letters have received over half a million pageviews and are a consistent source of encouragement for busy moms in every stage of their motherhood journey. You can find her feverishly working to finish writing her book at the local Starbucks or on her blog finding joy, on twitter at finding_joy, or on facebook at findingjoyblog.