I have struggled with depression off and on for 8 years now. It used to be that I couldn’t say the word “depression” out loud. There was no word for what I was struggling with. And if I did think it, I didn’t speak it out loud. There have been many, many things I’ve learned through this thorn that God has allowed, but one of the biggest is that when you bring things into the light that were once in darkness, it loses just a little bit of the sting. I’ve learned that speaking our heartache out loud allows the building up of the Body.
Today, I want to share with you some of the practical ways God has given me hope and joy in the midst of the struggle. I have to let you know upfront that I do not believe that we can snap ourselves out of depression. I don’t share these things as a quick cure-all. I share these things to encourage you. As one who has been there, struggling day in and day out, I know it’s hard, often impossible to bring yourself to do one.more.thing let alone something that might be good for you when it seems that all you see is despair.
If I can encourage you with this thought: ask God for the strength to do ONE of these things today. And tomorrow, you can choose another.
5 Practical Steps for Encouragement
- Talk. Share your heart and struggle with someone. Sweet friends, this is one of the hardest for me, so I’m starting with it. When I am down or struggling, the last thing I want to do is talk to anyone. As an introvert, this is doubly hard for me. But, find someone you can trust, someone who you know to be an encourager in your life. {Along those same lines, you know who will bring you down. It’s ok to not spend lots of time with those folks! I promise!} You need a cheerleader in your life, someone who will speak truth into the darkness. Don’t suffer alone.
- Get out. This is another hard one for this introvert. 🙂 But, almost every single time I *forced* myself to go to church when it was the last place I wanted to be, I was so thankful that I had gone. God meets us in our lonely places, busy moms. Go out for coffee with a friend. Go to a movie. Go browse a used bookstore. Go to the Target dollar spot. Just get out. It’s nearly always good for us when we feel so isolated and discouraged to get out into the real world.
- Be healthy. Goodness, these all seem hard for me. 🙂 Take ONE step in the right direction toward a healthier lifestyle. You would be surprised by how much food and what we put INTO our bodies affects our emotions and our mind. Drink more water. Cut out the soda. Cut out sugar. The less grains I eat the better, for me personally. Get outside and go for a walk – even a short one!! Any of these *small* steps can make a HUGE difference!!
- God’s Word. None of us really *needs* the reminder to be in God’s Word. But when you are depressed, when you see no way out, a few minutes in God’s Word can give you that little glimpse of hope back!! The other thing that God’s Word does for us is show us that our Bible heroes struggled just like we do! Read 1 Psalm per day, see the heart of David {a man after God’s own heart} as he cried out in anguish, yet never gave up his hope in God. If you spend any amount of time in the book of Psalms, I guarantee your heart will be encouraged.
- Accept Help. Whew, I know I’m just throwing these impossible things out at you…I promise, once you try ONE of these practical helps, the rest will come easier. Be gentle and give yourself time. This one is pretty hard, too. For a long time I didn’t want anyone to know I was struggling, so no way would I have ever acknowledged that I needed help. By help, busy moms, I’m talking about letting someone watch your kids for the afternoon, let a friend bring you a meal, let your husband help with the housework, let your kids watch tv for the afternoon – I promise, they will be fine. There were times I could hardly get out of bed, and I praise the Lord that I am not in that place anymore. But, I know the desperate feeling. And, the Lord knows, too. He is faithful!! Sometimes He uses the people in our lives to bring us a spark of encouragement – allow them to do so! Be brave, call that friend and tell her that you just can’t do this on your own, ask if your kids can come over for a playdate. Let others in.
Busy moms, I know that when you are struggling, the last thing you want to do is one of the above. I’m asking you today to try. Today may not be successful. Get up again tomorrow and try again. Don’t give up on yourself and don’t give up on your walk with God. Cry out to Him – from your bed, from your floor, from your kitchen sink. He hears. He knows. He loves you dearly. Despite how lonely you may feel, you are not alone. Speak those words of truth to yourself. He is faithful.
If you’d like to read more about my struggle with depression, I’d love to have you visit my little spot on the web. Here are all my posts related to depression & encouragement for you.
**Disclaimer: I am not in the medical profession. I cannot begin to tell you what is best for you, I only share these tips as an encouragement from one who has struggled herself. I have been on medication off and on for years…the Lord has used medication in my own life to bring me through some very hard times. But, that is not His plan for everyone. Prayerfully consider, with your family and doctor, what may be best in your situation.
Thanks for this post. Great advice. Gently instructing those who “oppose themselves.” : ) I think women do themselves “in” so much.
You are so right, Susan! I have a friend that keeps reminding me to give myself grace…the grace I love to share about and give to others seems so hard to give to myself at times.
Thank you for the post. I love the way that you said, “There was no word for what I was struggling with. And if I did think it, I didn’t speak it out loud.” That has been me until just recently. As a nurse for 21 years I have seen the stigma associated with the word “depression/depressed”. I was so afraid to admit it that I called it anything but, for years-but particularly that past year. I buried myself in “busy” to keep from having to acknowledge my feelings. Last year it was building to a peak that I could for see may be unhealthy but I ignored it. I was working full time (3-12 hour shifts/week), homeschooling my wonderful girls and taking care of all family needs because my husband was deployed to Afghanistan. He was injured and sent home in February (4 months early) and had to have surgery. I never missed a beat, kept working, schooling, and now caring for him.
By June he was recovering well-I could feel some “stress” lifting. Then suddenly my mother was diagnosed with lymphoma and passed away within a month of the diagnosis. That was the peak (at the end of July). I went numb for a few months. Then we received orders and moved from NC which I loved to GA which I was/am less than thrilled with. In November I felt the weight of the world (keep in mind that we just moved, I was no longer working and had only to homeschool my girls each day). I could barely move out of bed. The kids needs were the only thing keeping me functioning in a day. At Christmas my 2 older kids came home from college for break and both quickly pointed out to me that there was something not right about me. Both acted concerned. Sitting with my 19 year old daughter one night remembering and talking about my mom-I lost it (the top blew off)!! I started crying uncontrollably0then I said it…”I’m so depressed!”.
It was horrible. But, that was it, I put it out there (and I think scared her). Now, I had to deal with it. It took me a good 10 days of pure-not go anywhere, barely get up and get dressed, cry at the drop of a hat time. But now I am finding my way back. I have talked to my older kids, my husband and confided in a dear friend. I am reading my Bible each day and praying alone and with the family again, I am walking and trying to be healthy and I am trying to get out at least twice per week. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that I relate with you and I think your 5 steps are right on target!!
Thank you again! God Bless.
Cristan, you have had a LOT to deal with!! (((hugs))) I’m sorry for all the struggles…but I’m so glad you are talking about it now and doing a bit better. Sometimes it is so hard just to do something so simple…hang in there!! You’re doing awesome!! Thanks for chiming in…
I have struggled with depression in the past and took medication to help me because I was at a point of not dealing with anything without crying and feeling defeated. I withdrew from everyone and stopped doing the things that I normally loved to do. Medication helped me to begin the dealing process. The five steps that you listed are perfect. I had to do those to survive, even on the medication. After several years we moved and I went to a new OB/GYN who thought that my depression might be hormone related. I did an assessment and began a trial run with biodentical hormones and within a year I was weaned off of my antidepressants. I am doing great now…back to normal. I praise God for helping me through this and for the lessons that I have learned through it. I am also thankful for the healing that I have received through my hormone replacement. I still follow the five steps that you list to deal with stressful situations. Why not? It works.
Praise the Lord! I am sol glad to hear that it can be hormones I have been diagnosed as bipolar. It is nice to know that it could be something as simple as hormones. With the Lord’s help this is something I can look into.
Kimberly, I’m with you — these things help regardless of where you are in your day-to-day life, whether you struggle with depression or not! I’m so glad for you that you are doing well and have found what works for you!! Our bodies are created so uniquely and individually that it is often helpful to hear from many different folks on what works and doesn’t. I’m glad these tips are ones that proven to be helpful for you also!! Thanks for commenting…