Forged in the Fire of Suffering

Suffering. There is something revealing about it. Something about visceral pain that says to the inner man, “Wake up and pay attention!” Something about feeling helpless in a waiting room that makes you realize how helpless you were before you ever got there.

We don’t ask to suffer, but it comes anyway—and when it does, you discover *for real* what you are made of and who you trust.

It’s been almost a week since our sweet nephew was involved in a devastating car accident that left him comatose and paralyzed with a severe brain injury. My heart is aching, at times, even breaking for my precious sister and her family. Words fail me. I put myself in my sister’s place. More hurt.  I find myself asking God for signs … *any sign*, if I’m honest, that says “I’m here. I’m doing something.”

We pray. We sing. We trust—we hope—and we wait.

Wait for an answer that will help us make sense of what seems senseless. Wait for the next MRI, wait for a glimpse of what God is asking of us. Wait for clear direction. Oh, the wait is excruciating.

This is a hard, hard road.

Last night, as I cried with one of my sisters on the phone, it occurred to me that I need to look beyond where Bobby is and begin to look at where my family is. There is so much more to the story than what social media can tell. Isn’t that always the case?

We are a large family… and we’ve been through a lot.  We love each other fiercely. But honestly? I’ve never seen my family like this. I’ve never seen such love, such unity, such hope. But then, we’ve never been so full of grief before.

Like most extended families, ours has struggled. Divorce, faithlessness, heartache. Prodigals. We’ve felt all of it, but nothing has done in our hearts what Bobby’s injury is doing. Nothing has come close.

God is using Bobby’s suffering to bring a supernatural healing, one that is being forged in the fires of suffering.

While we wait for Bobby’s healing, I give God thanks for getting our attention and reminding us of what really matters.

It’s love.

Because of Bobby, it’s bubbling to the surface in our family, in our community and in the larger body of Christ.

We trust in the goodness of God and know that He is working, even now. Not only is He healing Bobby, he is healing us.

That’s part of the miracle. While we wait the next step with Bobby, we will keep walking this out together. For that, I am grateful. I am grateful for the outpouring of prayer and love that is being shown to my family. I’m thankful that because of Christ, we do not fear death. I’m thankful to know that God is capable of performing heart surgery (you know, the soul kind) even while is holding and healing Bobby.

I’m thankful for you, Jesus. We praise you in this storm. Thank you that You’re fighting on our behalf. Thank you for the miracles we are already seeing—and ones we have yet to see.

 “You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.'”
2 Chronicles 20:17

#miraclesforBobby #prayforBobbyAsa #faith #jesuspeople #webelieve #godhasthis #thebusymom #heidistjohn

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About Heidi St. John

Heidi has been married to her husband Jay since 1989. Together they have seven children and three grandchildren! The St. Johns homeschooled their kids all the way through high school. Heidi is the the author of seven books, host of the popular podcast "Off the Bench," and the founder of MomStrong International, an online community of women learning God's Word and how to apply it to every day life. She and her husband Jay are also the founders of Firmly Planted Family and the Firmly Planted Homeschool Resource Center, located in Vancouver, Washington.

14 thoughts on “Forged in the Fire of Suffering

  1. Barbara McKee

    Well said. Our son is now a paraplegic as the result of a senseless act. All I can say is “Amen” to your post.

    Reply
  2. Carrie S

    Thank you for putting these hard thoughts to paper! I see some of those same things in our family in our recent tragedy. It’s still hard on my heart to speak out loud about good coming out of tragedy & death, but I have written down page after page of blessings where we’ve seen God’s hand at work! Love you! Praying for you all! Clinging to Eternity!!

    Reply
    1. Lynn Saint

      Absolutely stunning meditation. The crucible of suffering melts the dross and brings forth pure gold, the refined gold that comes through the pain. I do not know your family but what I am seeing is priceless grace blended with raw emotions. May our God of all comfort continue to touch your precious family by His miraculous grace and sovereign intervention…for His glory and His honor.

      Reply
  3. Nancy Hill

    Thank you for making the choice to point us to Jesus despite the trials you are living in. I thank God for you and am praying and hoping with you in Bobby’s recovery. *hugs*

    Reply
  4. Jannette Johnson

    I am so thankful for all of God’s promises to each of us. Still praying for this precious young man and his family. Dear Jesus give them faith and strength for the road ahead. May your light shine upon Bobby, his mama, daddy, sisters and everyone around him. Bless his Doctors, nurses and all those who care for him, and Lord, most of all, heal him completely as he rests in Your Arms. Amen

    Reply
  5. Tricia

    As usual you’ve touched my heart. That same heart aches for your family. Our family is still praying and believing that God will completely heal your dear nephew.

    Reply
  6. Elisa

    I’m praying with you and for you and your family. You really mean A LOT to me.

    As I listened to your podcast the other day whilst doing the dishes (as I do), I had to stop and pray with you as you cried – and I cried. My heart hurts for the pain you are facing and the many tragedies that people experience all around the world.

    And yet, in all this, I have to keep reminding myself that God IS good. His ways are far above my ways and though I might not make sense of all the suffering here on earth, I know that we won’t be shedding any tears in Heaven.
    I love you so much Heidi. Thank you for your heart of encouragement and wisdom – even in this difficult time. You’re a real Titus 2 mentor for me and I appreciate all that you do. Sending my love, prayers and thoughts from across the pond.

    Reply
  7. Cinda Porter

    The nurse who took care of our son in the hospital aftet his major accident, told me a story about a patient she had. A young man, his mom kept rubbing his feet and singing to him until he woke up. Praying this may help for your nephew. I’m so sorry for your heartache

    Reply
  8. Amber

    Just read your devotional on bible gateway. My cousin was in a bad accident the end of June also. His neck was broken in 2 places which required serious surgery, but he was expected to live. Unfortunately he developed a blood clot and died a few days later. It’s hard to understand God’s plan sometimes! He was my aunt and uncle’s only son and je also left behind 5 sisters. He had plans to become a missionary pilot and was very close to fulfilling that dream. My heart breaks for his family even while I know he’s experiencing Life beyond what we can imagine. How would we ever get through this without the saving grace of Jesus!

    Reply

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