About twenty years ago, I remember getting into a fight with my husband. (Don’t look at me that way. There are more where that one came from.) My husband and I rarely have “heated” arguments. They’re more like intense conversations, since he’s the more mellow of the two of us. I used to joke and tell him he was no fun to fight with since he’s so rational and patient.
This was a little different that our normal spat, though. Here’s what happened:
Right in the middle of our argument, there was a knock at the door. A couple from the church where Jay was a pastor had stopped over for an impromptu visit. Now these two had been married much longer than we had; and they had five children, which at the time put them in the “saint” category as far as I was concerned. I revered this rock-steady couple. So it was just a little bit embarrassing to have them dropping by when my house didn’t look like something out of a Martha Stewart magazine.
I could not hide my emotional state, either. You see, my husband and I were having a hard time with a particular parenting course that was being offered at our church. I am a sort-of “Type A” personality by nature. I like formulas. Jay, on the other hand, felt that much of what was being taught was too rigid and legalistic. Twenty years later, I can tell you with certainty, he was right. But that’s not the point.
My friend Carol sat down on my couch and we began to tell she and her husband why we were arguing. We just laid it out there. I will never forget her words to me. ”Heidi,” she said, “I’ve noticed that your coffee table is covered with parenting books and magazines, but I don’t see your Bible here. Your Bible is the most important book. If you never had another parenting book or program to follow, the Bible would be enough. Reading it is the most important thing.”
I was even more embarrassed. I was a pastor’s wife without a Bible on her coffee table. Surely there is some law against that! I’m sure I turned 50 shades of red. But these two, they were telling us the truth.
Carol’s husband smiled. They weren’t being mean or judgmental—there were pointing us to the only place where we can ever find the answers we really need. Parenting books are great, but none of them—not a single one—has all the right answers. As moms, we must be grounded in God’s Word! It’s not enough to read someone’s advice. We must take our concerns and questions to the Lord and ask His help in discerning what is best for our children.
It was the best advice I’ve ever received from another mom—and it changed the way I parented. In fact, it set us on a different trajectory as a young married couple. It’s fine to read parenting and marriage books. In fact, as an author, I highly suggest reading other people’s books! :) But at the end of the day, we listen to the Author of life. We listen to the Lord.
We’re talking about “organization” this week—but I’m here to bear witness to the fact that if I’m not in the Bible on a consistent basis, even my best organizational efforts fall flat. Why? Because without God’s perspective fresh in my mind, the kids are stuck with mine. … yeah, that’s not that amazing.
Listen for the Lord. Read your Bible. Know what it says. Let your children see you reading God’s Word.
That’s the most important thing. Be in relationship with the Lord, Busy Mom. He has the answers you’re looking for.
Read all of the posts “Organizing Your Spiritual Life Posts” on these blogs! And read all about the Blog Hop going on HERE!