{Broken}

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Broken. It’s the word I use the most when people ask me who I am.

Broken.

I’m a mess, really.  Memories linger, but with little time to process them. Laundry abounds. Dinner calls. I’m often short-tempered. I’m often frustrated by things that carry no eternal significance.

I often forget how truly blessed I am. 

The Liar is tricky. He whispers “What do you have to offer? Look how broken you are.”  And yes I am. I must confess. I often have more questions than answers.

I wonder. Will my children be broken like I am broken? In my heart I know they will.  Because, really, we’re all broken. That’s why we need a Savior. We do the best we can, in our brokenness. I have found myself crying out to God as I carry the weight of the “what ifs” in life … and I must daily learn (again) to yield to God what I cannot control.

I make the mistake of scanning Facebook. More things that remind me. We.Are.Broken.  I try not to feel overwhelmed. There is much to do. Much that my heart aches for in this broken world.

In my brokenness, I’m learning to see something beautiful. I’m learning that being broken is its own kind of beautiful. Being broken means that I don’t have to struggle with the pain of perfectionism (although I still sometimes do.)

Being broken provides a freedom all it’s own—because there can be no glass houses for broken people. No need to compare brokenness. After all, we are all broken the same. Different kinds of broken—but still broken.

Being broken means I am in need of constant repair—and so I find myself at the feet of the One who heals—again.

There is strength there.

My husband touches my hand. He tells me (again) me how cherished I am.

He reminds me that our children will learn from our brokenness. I love this strong, gentle man. He is a gift. Part of my healing. He tempers me.

I need that.     … You too?

 

Broken people carry a beauty all their own. And broken people who know they have been redeemed—bought with a price—are radiant with a light that transcends the pain of this life.

Very little in this life compares to the beauty the comes from brokenness.  The beauty that comes from ashes —is available to me. And you.

As the news plays in the background, and the weight of this life threatens to overwhelm, I claim the gift of brokenness. I claim it to find healing, and peace. I claim it for the one thing I cannot find without being broken. I claim it for grace. I claim it today, again.

Grace.

Grace in my brokenness — healing.

Praise the Lord.

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Heidi
Heidi St. John has been married to her husband Jay since 1989. Together they have seven children from toddler to adult and have homeschooled all the way through high school. A favorite conference and radio speaker, Heidi approaches marriage and parenting with humor and grace. Her passion to encourage moms and set them free to be who God has created them to be will bless and encourage you.
Heidi
Heidi
Heidi

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19 Responses to {Broken}

  1. Caroline says:

    Thank you for the reminder. For the reminder of God’s grace, that He would use such a broken thing for His glory. hugs.

  2. Lisette says:

    Thank you for reminding us once again. Beautiful.

  3. Madison says:

    Thank you so much for this. <3

  4. Laura says:

    Thank you for being “REAL”, and for the reminder this post was for me.

  5. Maricole says:

    Beautifully written. Thank you for allowing God to use you to minister to my soul.

  6. Donna says:

    Thank you. I needed this today. Such a heavy heart since Tuesday night. And I, too, am VERY broken. Very imperfect, very lacking.
    Thank you so much. Again, I needed this today.

  7. Margaret Winters says:

    Dear Friend,
    Not only broken but lost on this planet living what we call life. Constantly being reminded that this world is not our home we are only passing through. In the mean time we are called to be a light to others and love unconditionally. We can not nor does God want us to dwell on the past or worry about the future. We must live in the here and now at this moment and look around and see the love that God has placed right in our midst. Satan would love for us to worry about what might have been or what is to come and he can deceive us into thinking that we have no hope. We must not listen to him he is a liar. Love you friend!

  8. Julia says:

    Consequently, the link to this post was on Facebook, a friend of mine ‘liked’ it. I have to say, I love it. Your words and message around brokenness resonates so deeply with me. Thank you for sharing your heart, it has touched mine. (something good out of Facebook, though it’s rare, I know) ;-)

  9. Judy says:

    Thanks, Heidi, for ministering to me during a time I am finding very difficult to comprehend…..I thank God for friends like you…I love you….

  10. Tonya D says:

    Heidi, I appreciate your transparency and willingness to share your struggles and joys. When I heard you speak at the AFHE convention/marriage seminar I knew I had to follow your blog/FB page for encouragement and perspective. When I read this entry, it immediately reminded me of the song attached. I hope it blesses you as it doe me:-) Thanks for sharing your life with us fellow broken vessels!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIAPM46dYPY

  11. Tara says:

    Heidi, I have been following your fb page for a couple of months and I have to say I am completely hooked! I just want you to know that your encouragement has helped me through days of homeschooling and days of being a mom and a wife in ways that I can not describe. I thank God for you and pray for! Thank you so much for sharing! You have reached me all the way in snowing cold British Columbia:)

  12. Lisa J. says:

    Beautiful post! Thanks! I can so relate!

  13. Jessica C. says:

    Thank you for this. I need this after a really hard day yesterday that reminded me just how broken I am. After neglecting my prayers and my soul I have started to feel the weight of my sins, instead of handing them over to our Father in Heaven. Thank you for ministering to me!

  14. [...] of you may have read a post I wrote some time ago, called “Broken.” I take such comfort in knowing that God thinks my [...]

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