Oops. I did it again.
Nagged. Corrected. Rolled my eyes. Sighed.
When will I ever learn?
I like to talk about marriage on Fridays. But I won’t lie to you—I didn’t want to write about marriage this week. Life has been hard
these past few days. It’s been a rough week for me and my beloved. And when I say “beloved,” I’m serious. This man I married, he is the other half of me. The best half. He’s the keel that keeps me and all my crazy ideas in orbit around planet earth. Without him, I’d be orbiting some other planet, no doubt. He soothes my anxious heart. He’s patient. He’s kind. He’s rock-solid and steady. People like him. And, he thinks I’m hot. Goodness knows that after seven children and stretch marks that take up most of my torso, I need his affirmation.
Yes, he drives me crazy. In all the good ways, and some of the bad.
I’m a “shoot and ask questions later” kind of woman. Jay waits. I say what I’m thinking. Jay’s quiet until he knows what he wants to say. (I could learn from that.) Something that the Lord has been teaching me this week is that I am prone to correcting my husband when I should be quiet. There. I said it. Sorry if you think less of me. (The line is forming to the left.)
Lately, I’ve heard that “still small voice” a little bit louder. God is reminding me to affirm my husband. To love him. To let him lead. (Tough for a woman like me.) This morning, I had to chuckle as I was reading my Bible. It was so funny in fact, that I snapped a picture of it.
Okay, okay. I get it. But what really stood out to me was that last part: “To restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in ones’ right hand.”
Boy, that’s the truth. Husbands are not to “control” their wives. Wives are to be self-controled. To be guided by the Holy Spirit. To love and respect their husbands. Nagging is the opposite of respect, isn’t it? Nagging says, “I don’t like the way you do this. Do it my way instead.” Nagging breeds resentment. I’ve been around nagging women. Lord, help me to be more like you and less … like me.
Let’s face it. We need more of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Wonderful things happen when we allow Him to have His way. Self-control is a fruit of the spirit. It’s evidence that God is at work in my heart and that I’m listening.
If you’re struggling with self-control in this area, you’re not alone, believe me. Let’s give it to the Lord and be the encouragers we were meant to be. The obvious beneficiary of a wife who does not nag is her husband, but I receive a blessing too. The blessing that comes from learning when to speak and when to be quiet. Our sons and daughters will be blessed by our example, too.