Your Kids Need Dating Too!

Your Kids Need Dating Too!

Our parent hearts need to be connected to our children. A large part of the parenting journey is getting to know what makes our children tick, what makes them happy, or upset, what they’re passionate about, where they struggle, and where their strengths lie.

If you have more than one child, you may find you have difficulty finding time to really get into the heart of these areas. With 4 kids in our family, we definitely have to plan intentional time for one-on-one, and planning a special date time with your kids is a great way to do it!

Too often when we think of dates, even as a husband and wife, we think it needs to be elaborate, fancy, super special, or include “going out” somewhere. But in reality, the purpose behind dating someone is to spend undistracted, intentional time together. This can really be accomplished ANYWHERE!

The first step to planning special dates with your kids is to take a look at your availability. If you have one or a couple children, you may be able to plan something quite regularly. However, if you have a lot of kids (such as in our family!), your dates may need to be further apart in occurrence.

Ikea date

As a couple, settle on and commit to planning out the dates with your kids, and determine whether you will both be present, or take turns. While having both parents there is a truly extra special time, it may not always be feasible. Just make sure you’re BOTH getting one-on-one with your kiddo!

Next, decide what kind of dates you will go on with your kids. You may take them out for a donut, or dinner, to a movie, or a special park. Or you may simply stay in and play a game together, read a book, or let them stay up later and just talk. Base it on your budget availability, both for time and cost.

The main thing is that you’re focusing on engaging your child in an activity or conversation in which there is no one else around to pull your attention away from them. To have some fun together, and to get to know them more and more.

daddy daughter date

Now if you’re saying “As much as I want to do this, I seriously don’t have ANY extra time!”, don’t be discouraged or give up! Even taking a trip to the grocery store with just one child instead of by yourself or the whole crew could be a fun opportunity together. Get creative with the resources you have available to you.

Our kids are 8 1/2,  7,  4 1/2 and 13 months. We’ve taken them out to the coffee shop, grocery store, Home Depot, birthday breakfasts and lunches, skiing, skating, swimming, bike rides and park dates. We’ve stayed in and played a game, done a puzzle, read a book, and just sat around and talked. We’ve spent hours together, or just 30 minutes of concentrated, undivided attention. As much as possible, our goal is to have a date time of some sort with them every other month.

birthday lunch

The joy of having a relationship with our sons and daughters can sometimes be overshadowed by the weariness we feel through the daily parenting, teaching, leading, instructing and disciplining.

When we take the time to date our children, we renew the joy, strengthen our connection, open up our hearts to each other and allow God to draw us closer together. It gives us cause to rejoice as we see who our children are, and are becoming, apart from others, as individuals.

Let’s open up in the comments and share our successes and ideas for dating our kids. Here are some of our favourites!

  • Skating at a free outdoor rink, hot chocolate and a donut after
  • Gathering supplies for a craft or handiwork project and working on it together
  • Go on a scavenger hunt (book stores or libraries are great for this, or just look for specific things around your town)
  • Plan a special meal or dish to make, shop for the ingredients and create together

making cookies

  • Play a game or read a book and discuss together
  • Go to the mall, or their favourite stores, get a treat, try all the sample teas at Teavana
  • Watch a movie at home or in the theater
  • Take them out for a special meal on their birthday (daddy does this for breakfast or lunch, the kids LOVE it!)
  • Do an outdoor sport of some sort (skiing, snowboarding, biking, rollerblading, skate boarding, paint balling, canoeing, whatever!)
  • Go on a trail hike and/or picnic
  • See a sporting event, play or concert together
  • Ask your kids what they want to do!

How have you made kid-dates work? What creative ideas have you put into practice to spend time pursuing the heart of your child?

Check out this Dates Ideas Pinterest board for some more great ideas!

Date ideas Pinterest Board 

 

This entry was posted in MomStrong Parenting and tagged , , , , , on by .

About Lauren Mirecki

I am a saved-by-grace, failing-forward, wife and graduated homeschool student turned homeschooling mom of 4 residing in Ontario, Canada. I am passionate about teaching my children the truth of God's word through how He is teaching me, our school lessons and experiences as a family. My days are best spent together with my family, at home, or in the outdoors, learning how to be more creative, serving and encouraging others, and striving to see and give all glory to God.

23 thoughts on “Your Kids Need Dating Too!

  1. CRA

    My husband and I have talked about doing this several times in the past and one of us will go on one date with one of our boys and then we get busy and the plan gets set aside. Thank you for a great reminder of how important this is! I just put it on my calendar for my husband and I to sit down this week and actually schedule the dates. I love this idea!

    Reply
    1. Lauren

      I know too well what you mean! But don’t beat yourself up over it – just the fact that you’re doing it is good! How did it go with the planning and follow up?

      Reply
  2. Vicchair Vanderhoof

    We are a little behind on this. We dont have income in winter so by this time of winter it is tight and it has been so cold that we have not been able to go to the park or anything like that. This is a rural area so not many options such as a mall or anything. Our house is so small there is no place to get away from others. So our sons and I will enjoy dating again when the weather is nice outside again. We usually go to the state park or have an ice cream cone. I am looking forward to it and I know our youngest is for sure.

    Reply
    1. Lauren

      I know, I had grand ideas of going tobogganing and skating as our dates, but it’s been ridiculously too cold outside (though we have been skiing as a family). So we’re using the grocery shopping trips or running errands as our time instead. And maybe one night you can put the other boys in their room with a movie/book/cd and just hang out with one of your sons on his own? Just a thought! :0) Love your ideas for warmer weather!

      Reply
  3. Jenni

    I am a homeschooling mom of six ages 11, 9, 7, 4, 2 and 6 months. We take the older three individually to pie night each week at Village Inn. The pie is free so we buy a drink and it is a perfect environment. I do three weeks, then my husband does three. The kids really like it.

    Reply
  4. Heather Means

    Im taking my kiddos out all next month when we are on a family vacation. Looking forward to getting some one on one time with each of them for the first time in a long time (since the baby was born, shes 16 months and Im expecting again).

    Reply
    1. Lauren

      Oh congratulations Heather! And vacation time is a great time to make those one-on-ones happen, especially with a busy household. I should remember to do that next time!

      Reply
    1. Lauren

      It’s nice for the kids to have time with daddy since it’s more limited in most cases – maybe you can alternate so you can both get one-on-one? As moms we don’t often (at least not very often) get to see that individual side of our kiddos when we are with them all day long.

      Reply
  5. Colette Sears

    My kids and I have date nights.
    One night of the week, both choose which night. They get to hang out with mom without all the rules. They are in charge of planning the fun. I get to just be with them without being in disciplinary mode or anything. They love love love this time.

    Reply
  6. JamericanSpice

    My kids and I do date nights. They have chosen what night they wanted to spend with me. Sometimes it’s just an hour up and we do whatever they want to do. They run the agenda.

    Maybe one day I’ll be able to take them out.

    I love the ideas. I already do most of them.

    Reply

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