"I am a new homeschool mom and was ready to give up when I stumbled across your site. I read your site and cried and cried. I realized I wasn’t alone and that I could do this – your site encourages me." - Andrea
"Your blog reminds me that I’m not just a mom who homeschools but that by investing in my children and sheparding their hearts I am directly impacting eternity. What a high calling it is to be a mother!" - Danielle
"I read your post everyday and look forward to them everyday. They are so uplifting, especially to someone who is about to pull their 3rd grader out of public school and start the wonderful adventure of homeschooling. I can only imagine how much I will benefit once he is at home being taught by me." - Wendy
"I just LOVE that your wisdom and encouragement is GENUINE and rooted in the Word." - Jennie
"Oh my gosh it’s great just knowing that I’m not alone in the busy homeschool mom world!! There are others who go thru what I do or feel how I feel and I (and my kids) will survive!! Haha Heidi, you encourage me everyday just by being real! You encourage me to love my kiddos and hubby more! I so appreciate all your wisdom! God bless you!!!" - Sarah
"Character before Curriculum is my new motto and I think I have a pretty fantastic little boy because of it!" - Elizabeth
"I recommend “The Busy Homeschool Mom” because it’s my number one reminder that God comes first and then my husband comes before EVERYTHING else. As homeschool moms, our families and marriages can fall apart when we get it out of order. When I first found TBHM, I was thrilled to see that putting my husband before kids was the RIGHT thing to do. Such a marriage changer! What a joy to celebrate being “That Girl” and sharing with other mom friends that they are also “THAT girl”. My husband definitely says thank you for helping me get my priorities in order!" - Tracye
"Your blog is like a hug, a bit of camaraderie, somewhere I can check in and see that I’m really doing all right and I’m not alone out here." - Katie
"As someone who started out as a secular homeschooler, finding your blog was a turning point for me. I have felt supported by this online community as my reasons for continuing to homeschool have changed and are more to do with God and less to do with the SAT’s each day. I tell others about your blog in hopes they will be inspired as well." - Elizabeth

Only God … Makes Things Grow

Monday. Here we go again.

I don’t know about you but the older my kids get, the faster the days go.

Each day has it’s own challenges, but in many ways, the days are like each other: dishes, laundry, tidy up, discipline, train, teach.

This morning as I spent a little time in 1 Corinthians 3, I was reminded that God, who does all things well, knows exactly what I need for each day. He’s not fretting over the details, either. He’s simply waiting for me to do my part.

sierra_spring2

Allow me to paraphrase – meaning, this is what the Lord showed me as I was reading this beautiful passage today.

v.5-6  …the Lord has assigned to each his task. You and your husband plant and water the seed, but God makes it grow.”

Such a wonderful reminder! Don’t grow weary in doing good, busy mom.

Do your part today. Water, nurture, water some more.  Love your kids today. Praise them. Discipline them.

nurture_rose

And then trust God.

Only God makes things grow.

“He makes all things beautiful … in His time.”
Ecclesiastes 3:11

 

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If You Give a Mom a Mocha

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Have a great Monday, busy mom!
Heidi

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If You’re Happy and You Know It

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Have you been blessed?  Does it show?

Here are twenty things you can do RIGHT NOW to SHOW how much you love others

  1. Love your husband – in the way he loves your to love him best ;)
  2. Squeeze those kids tight, be silly with them
  3. Laugh
  4. Take a walk
  5. See the best in others – and tell them what that “best” is
  6. Praise the LORD – every good and perfect thing is from Him
  7. Plan a date, even if it’s in your own living room
  8. Do something “off” your routine
  9. Go to the library
  10. Get ice cream
  11. Call your mom
  12. Take a drive
  13. Eat animal crackers with your kids
  14. Take your daughter /son out for coffee … just the two of you
  15. Plan a special night with your husband, think about it all day
  16. Take time to look your child in the eye … and tell him all the reasons you love him
  17. Same thing with your husband
  18. Stretch
  19. LAUGH some more
  20. Play a game

Today will never come again.  Enjoy what you’ve been given.

If you’re happy and you know it … let it show!

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Seven Minutes

Seven minutes. That’s all the time I had this morning before the kids came in. Yesterday was so full of surprises that I didn’t get to writing until about 8:30pm – so naturally, I overslept this morning. The kids of course, decided that today was a good day to get get up 45 minutes early.  I’m not sure why, but the little ones in our house wake up full of WORDS and the big kids … well it’s hard to get them out of bed, let alone get many words out of them before 8:30 a.m.

Funny that the two-year old is bright eyed and bushy tailed. She has a list of things she wants me to do already.  Starting with … well you know the drill.  ”I just needed a half an hour more!”, I thought to myself.  I’m not ready to be a mom yet!

It’s amazing that before 7:00 a.m. I have already had the chance to grouchy and irritable – or full of grace and love.

It’s a good thing God gets it.

 ”Morning by morning, O Lord, You hear my voice; morning by morning I lay my requests before you … and wait in expectation.” Psalm 5:3

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You know, the more I learn about God, the more I think that He is a morning person. :) And I think it’s because God knows that we need His strength, wisdom and joy … first thing in the morning … to make it through any given day.

We just never know what a day will bring. But God does.

Lay your requests before the Lord this morning, busy mom. Even if you only have seven minutes to do it in. Make those first precious minutes count by driving your spiritual “car” through God’s gas station. Fill up with His words. Ask Him for His help.

He’ll give you what you need for today.

He’s good like that.

 

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When the Experts are Wrong

16 weeks Sierra

It was 1993.

We were expecting our second baby.  Our first daughter had mastered toddling and was rapidly moving into terrorizing. Ahh, the “terrible twos” were upon us.

But she was beautiful, this tottering two-year old. I could get lost in her big brown eyes.  Just watching her playing in that small, sunlit corner of our living room made me smile. I had never known a love like the love that I felt for this little girl.

As my second pregnancy progressed, I wondered how it could ever be possible to love another baby as much as I loved Savannah. I could not fathom there could be room in my heart for more love.

But I was wrong. Turns out, the human heart is capable of so.much.love.

Sierra was born in December. Her eyes danced, too. Her smile was perfect. I’ll never forget the relief that washed over me when I held her in my arms for the first time.  I wept like a baby. You see, I had been carrying her for the past five months under a cloud of worry.  Jay and I had been told that it was more than 60% likely that she had Down Syndrome. It looked as if she had a small hole in her heart. Her measurements were “off.”  We were sent to a genetic counselor.

Our options were laid out clearly: Abortion or “Take a Chance.”  Amniocentesis was not something we were interested in. Abortion was absolutely out of the question. The thought of taking her life horrified and hurt us.  We had seen her! Seen her heart beating. Seen her beautiful silhouette via ultrasound. Seen her little feet and seen her fully formed body.

Surely, the “experts” saw it too, this beautiful, tiny human being.

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After our second visit and a level two ultrasound, our “genetic counselor” offered his best advice. We ignored it.

We took “a chance”.

"Thumbs up, mom!"

“Thumbs up, mom!”

And then, we wrestled with the fear the followed the faith.  Oh the fear.  Every kick she made inside me said, “I’m here!” Every hiccup, every movement reminded me that she was growing. She was coming into our lives.

Sometimes, you just have to trust that God knows what He is doing.

On the day that Sierra was born, the room was full of doctors. One for neonatal intensive care. One for her heart. One to assess her for Down Syndrome.

And one to observe how it all played out.

I labored silently, determined to save as much energy as I could for my baby’s arrival. Jay put his head next to mine. I love that man.

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Quietly, our daughter made her entrance into the world. For a moment, I am sure Jay and I stopped breathing. The heart specialist called for his nurse. And then ..my doctor looked up at me and his look said it all: she was healthy. No way to be sure in an instant–but we were instantly sure.

The worry and fear from the past five months came flooding to the surface of my mama’s heart. I wept as our little seven pound miracle breathed in and out on my chest.

Sometimes, the “experts” are just wrong.

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Sometimes, we have no choice but to go with what we KNOW to be true, based on what God has told us about Himself. Even if Sierra would have been born with Down Syndrome or heart problems, what we knew to be true was this: God created her. He loved her. He gave her to us. And He would give us what we needed to care for her.

Choosing life for our daughter was one of the “we know it to be true” kinds of things.

Fast-forward several years.

A new parenting program was being touted at our church. We had three kids by then.  And I won’t lie to you,  we needed a little help.

Expert help, you could say.

We enrolled in the parenting class along with about ten other couples.

Advice abounded. A parenting formula: Mix a little-of-this with a-little-of-that and VOILA.  You’ve got a kid who will respect you and respect others, obey on command, help without complaint and obey immediately without question or hesitation.

That’s what the “experts” said.

Sign me up for that!  Who wouldn’t want that?

We were all so young. We wanted to do the best thing for our kids.  Besides, the promise of the program resonated: if you just do ____ then your kids will turn out great.

The downside to formulaic parenting is so immense that I can’t cover it in a blog post but let me say this:

Formula and faith do not mix.

Saylor_BHM

I’ll never forget the pressure that we felt as a result of that class.  My husband was a worship pastor at the time. I felt like I was mothering in a giant fishbowl. People were watching. And my imperfect kids had to deal with imperfect, flawed, fearful me.

Bummer.

Formulas don’t work. There are no cookie-cutter methods for parenting. Our children are not all cut from one mold.

Sometimes, the experts are wrong.

There are principles but there are no guarantees.

There are promises but there is no way to avoid the tough realities of day-to-day mothering: It’s just hard sometimes.  Parenting requires a listening, discerning spirit.  I can require obedience but without the heart to obey, obedience is just another action.

For a while we were caught up in the legalism of following a formula. And it was burdensome.

During that time, I learned that parents can be particularly hard on other parents. Especially when we think we’re right and someone else is wrong.

Sometimes, I think I’m the expert.
And then, something happens that reminds me I’m not.
Thank God for grace.

 

Fast-forward again.

Two of our children are grown. (Where did the time go?  I thought I had more time…)  And I realize more with each passing day that I must depend on the Lord to help me guide each child. I also realize that God has been gracious. Our children are each so different, each with their own set of unique needs. Each situation requires me to respond differently.

True confession: I wanted an “expert” to tell me FOR SURE that our daughter was marrying the right man.  (She did, by the way.) But in the end, God said, “Trust Me.  Trust Me in your daughter.”

Turns out our daughter was learning to hear God during those precious years we had her at home.

Not from an expert. But from our example. Sometimes a bad example. But an example, nevertheless.

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I get to be a steward of these precious ones while they are in our home. Now that I’ve seen how bad advice can skew a family, and I’ve lived long enough to see how fast the growing years go by, my perspective is changed.  I’m learning to become even more intentional with the time God has given me to till and plant and nourish the lives that He has entrusted to Jay and me. As you’ve heard me say before, I’m learning to become an intentional arborist.

There are wonderful books out there on parenting. But be careful when you pick up a book that is rule-based or promises a specific result.

Every day, ask the Lord to help you as you nurture your children.  I’ve been asking God for many things over the years–and these come to mind first:

  1. Humility. If anyone ever tells you that there are “Three Steps to a New Kid” or whatever … run. It’s a formula. And it’s prideful to boot. None of us has it all together. 
  2. A heart to understand God’s heart. Not hard-and-fast rules. As I get older and walk with Jesus more, I realize this means I need to be reading His Word as often as I can … so that I can know His heart and not be driven by fear or by the rules of men.
  3. Gentleness. Gentleness is a much overlooked fruit of the Spirit. It’s evidence that God is at work. Gentleness is present when we discipline our children because the Spirit is there too.
  4. Discernment in discipline. Sometimes, love must be tough. Sometimes, we make decisions for our children that will allow them to feel the consequences of their actions. Discernment tells us when to use tough love and when to let the circumstance teach the child while we love them through it.  There are no easy answers.
  5. A heart to understand my children. We can’t get to the hearts of our children by sequestering them from the world with a rule book and a list of consequences for bad behavior. Children need love and nurture along with correction. One without the other produces hard hearts.

Our options are clearly laid out for us. We can choose a path that promises a particular result, or we can “take a chance” on trusting that the promises and correction found in God’s Word will apply to each of our children exactly when they need it to.

The only real “expert” advice we can count on is found in the Bible.  We don’t need to have all the answers.  We just need to know the One who does.

“What if, sometimes, there are mists and fogs so thick that I cannot see the path? ‘Tis enough that You hold my hand, and guide me in the darkness; for walking with You in the gloom–is far sweeter and safer than walking alone in the sunlight!

Dear Lord, give me grace to trust You wholly, whatever may befall; yielding myself up to Your leading, and leaning hard on You when “dangers are in the path.” Your way for me has been marked out from all eternity, and it leads directly to Yourself and home!”

~Susannah Spurgeon

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Do your days need some breathing room?

You know how it goes, we schedule something for each day this week. Then one more really great opportunity comes along. Then the kids get invited to a last minute birthday party and you get an email about a makeup soccer game… Pretty soon your week has flown by and you hardly looked at each other!  Or maybe I’m the only one who does this! :blushing: See what Friday’s Friend, Steve Lambert, has for us today about overscheduling:

Did you ever watch your child running with a too-full cup of water or juice? How long did it take you to clean up the mess?  Spills are inevitable when we’re moving too fast and our cup is too full.   Life is like that, isn’t it? When our cups are too full and we are moving too fast we end up creating a mess that needs to be cleaned up.

We tend to schedule our lives until they’re spilling over at the brim allowing ourselves 20 minutes to get from the piano lesson to the dentist and promising to make a dinner for the nice family at church who just had a baby on the same day we’re already committed to having guests for dinner at our home.
To paraphrase one of the many popular Facebook posts of late, “I have too much spare time and wish I had more to do, said no mother, ever.”

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Our children need time to just “be” rather than always having to be “doing.”

Life may be like a box of chocolates for Forrest Gump, but I’ve found it to be more like an all you can eat buffet. And I’ve found that when I eat at one of those buffets I end up with dozens of different foods on my plate(s) but can’t really remember any of them when I’m finished; overstuffed and bloated. I’ve eaten so many different foods but I never really tasted any of them. They all just ran together on my plate and the meal ended up being thoroughly forgettable.
But when you sit down to a simple salad and a well prepared steak or seafood entree’ each bite melts in your mouth, the flood of flavors washing your palate in the refreshing taste of lemon, or basil, or garlic; mouth watering goodness to be savored and enjoyed… and remembered for a long time to come.
Are your days like that? Do you pack in so many activities in rapid fire that neither you nor your children really has time to enjoy or savor any of them? By bedtime have you already forgotten whatever you did this morning? Can you even remember the things you did last week that seemed so important at the time? Most of us can’t because we’ve overscheduled our lives.
And then the unexpected phone call or interruption occurs and we end up with a giant mess. We allowed ourselves no margin and once again we stumble while running with our cups too full.
Make time this week to look at your calendar and take intentional steps to simplify. Schedule one activity instead of two. Cancel several existing commitments that you knew you shouldn’t have made at the time. Plan an unclaimed hour or two between events so you have time to savor and enjoy each happening.
We want it all. It’s only natural. But as someone once said, “You can’t have it all and even if you could, where would you put it?”

Purpose to fill your cup less full beginning today.

Plan to walk from one event to the next with a margin of time built in to savor and enjoy the scenery and the companionship of those who are with you instead of scheduling yourself to race from one commitment to the next.
In America we’ve come to believe that if a little is good then more is better and “way too much” is too wonderful to even imagine. I’ve found the opposite to be true in my life. Have you? Sometimes less is more. Sometimes more is less. And if it’s true for you, it’s true for your children as well.
Blessings,
Steve Lambert
stevejaneA busy working father of two, Steve found himself “along for the ride” when his wife, Jane, first began homeschooling more than 30 years ago. But he quickly saw the benefit to Jane’s unique approach to teaching and became an enthusiastic cheerleader as he watched his children’s love of learning blossom. By the mid-nineties, Steve had become a popular author and speaker at homeschool conventions nationwide as his wife’s popular curriculum, Five in a Row, had also become a favorite in many homes across America. Today Steve remains involved in a variety of family-related ministries, public speaking and writing while enjoying the wonderful role of grandfather.  Find audio encouragement and more from Steve Lambert, Publisher of Five in a Row, over at www.fiveinarow.com.
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Dug Down Deep: Strong Roots, Strong Kids

intentional_arborist

Got Roots?

Not the “grow out” roots you get from an overdue visit with your hair stylist.  The other kind.

The roots I’m picturing belong to the tree that is described in Psalm 1. When talking about what the righteous look like, David said this:

They are like trees planted along the riverbank,
    bearing fruit each season.
Their leaves never wither,
    and they prosper in all they do.

Psalm 1:1-3

Can you picture those trees? They are strong. Their roots run deep. They’re anchored in rich soil. They’ve been carefully nurtured.

How?  Well by a specialist, of course. An arborist, to be exact.

So what is an arborist?

Dictionary.com says this:

ar·bor·ist

noun \ˈär-bə-rist\
a specialist in the cultivation and care of trees and shrubs, including tree surgery, the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of tree diseases, and the control pests.

See if this describes your job as a busy mom:

Cultivation and care of your child— check!
Requires some heart surgery—mostly the “inner” kind—check!
Demands a diagnosis from time to time—and treatment too—check!
Preventative in nature—check!
Pest control?  You know it!

Yep. I thought so. You’re an arborist.

If you’ve got kids, you’re an arborist. Only you’re tending to the eternal, not the temporal. You’re impacting the future, one tiny trim and watering at a time.

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I’ve been privileged to watch some amazing aborists in my time. And guess what? They didn’t do everything right.  But I’ll say this: they were intentional about caring for their little saplings. The best arborists are trees too, you know, and they have learned to bend so that they don’t break.  They haven’t over-watered their young trees with the language of legalism. Instead, they cover their young with grace—and the occasional, necessary pruning.

Strong kids almost always have this in common: they’ve been patiently, tenderly, intentionally nurtured over time by parents who take their job seriously.

These parents—these tree-whisperers—are doing what is arguably the most important job on the earth: they are raising the next generation.

The world we live in is challenging. It’s easy for young saplings to get torn out by their roots when cultural winds blow.

And the winds are sure blowing now, aren’t they?

But strong trees—trees that are rooted deep in the rich soil of God’s truth and grace— are not blown about by the winds that surround them.

As a mother, it is comforting to know that God cares deeply, even more than I, about our young orchard. I don’t have to worry about what to teach our children about truth—since truth does not change. God has spoken to the really important matters already. He has told us how to love—and He has shown us how to love. We must love in spirit and in truth.

Is it tough?  Does in rain in Washington?

I’m learning — sometimes the hard way — that I can be an intentional arborist without having it all together also. I don’t have to have every answer.  But I must be willing and I must be rooted. Willing to put in the long hours, and willing to tend to my own root system: my marriage, my own relationship with God and my relationships with others.  After all, strong roots—strong mother.

Sierra_haley

So what does it look like to be an intentional arborist?
Here are three ways you can become a better, more intentional arborist.

  • Get rooted yourself.
    You’ll need fertilizer. God’s Word is the best there is!
    Strong roots=strong mama. You can’t be like that tree in Psalm 1 if you’re not rooted first in the soil of the Bible. Spend time with the Lord each day. I like to read just a chapter each day in the Psalms and this year, I’m going through the New Testament. Don’t know where to start? Try the book of Philippians. You can’t go wrong.
  • Get praying.
    Need wisdom?  I sure do!  Seems like each one of our seven children needed an entirely new set of instructions! Cookie-cutter parenting simply doesn’t work. Ask God specifically for the needs of your children. Name them. God made and designed them, so it makes sense that He would know what each child needs. Even that strong-willed child.  Yeah. That one might require some extra prayer.  I know my poor mother had her hands full with me!  ”Lord, help me shape this strong will for YOUR GLORY!”
  • Get the BIGGER picture.
    Boy, is it hard to see past tantrums, late nights, long conversations, repeated instruction, consistent discipline, failure, disappointment.  (And I’m just talking about my own issues here!) Goodness knows we’ve got to see the WHY or we can easily get lost in the oh-so-daily tasks of parenting. Mom, you are doing an amazing job.  The impact of your intentional parenting will last long after the last load of laundry has been run through and you’ve watched your child begin to put down new roots on his own.

    What we’re doing today will impact our grandchildren.  I wonder … what kind of a root system will they inherit from this generation of arborists?

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  The impact of your intentional parenting will last long after the last load of laundry has been run through and you’ve watched your child begin to put down new roots on his own.

The work you do now will yield a harvest of joy if you hang in there. Plant tenderly.  Sow with love. Plant with the harvest in mind.

The harvest is coming, busy mom. As I watch my adult children interact with my little ones, I am reminded of how fast the years go.  Indeed, the days can be long, but the years go by fast.

Know what I mean?

You sure look cute in those arborist overalls, by the way.

They suit you.

Got_saplings

 

The St. Johns are the publishers and co-authors of Firmly Planted, a Bible study for the entire family.  Check it out here.

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5 Ways to Just Say {NO} to Drama

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Oops. I did it again.

I didn’t mean it—never mind.

Yes, I did.

I knew when I vague-booked that little “hint” that so-and-so would eventually get it. And secretly, I hoped it would be sooner rather than later. I wanted her to know she hurt me. Secretly, I wanted to wound her back.  I knew that if I called her out by name online I’d be fouled on a technicality—because that would clearly be wrong—so I did what any reasonable, mature, spirit-filled woman would do: I hinted about it on Facebook.  Just a short statement. It looked innocent on the outside, yet truthfully it was anything but innocent.

As you can probably guess,  it backfired.

And it created more drama for me than the drama I have every day simply by virtue of the fact that I have seven children. Trust me when I say that just having the seven children can generate enough drama in a day to seriously cripple most human beings. No kidding.

But for some reason, I just had to add another layer of drama. *sigh*  Why?

words

For all the “keep it simple, sweetie” talk and all our good intentions to say we want to be examples for our children, we’re allowing the Internet to tempt us into exposing an ugly side of ourselves. It’s true. Have you seen it too?

Now let me be clear: I love Facebook. I love blogging. But it has an ugly side: The Internet has provided a new generation with the opportunity to practice a brand new form of passive/aggressive behavior—simply using vague, online hints.  See if any of these sound familiar:

I need prayer. People are just so unkind.

I am asking the Lord to help me have a forgiving heart.

Hurt and frustrated, but moving on.

Seriously, people?

I need prayer to deal with a “situation”.

It’s embarrassing to admit, but I’m pretty sure I’ve used all of these statements at one time or another in the past several years. And I see them floating around on other pages every day.

I have to ask myself, “What makes me different?”  Am I doing what I know is right?

1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.

Are you tired of the drama? Me too, and here’s the thing: We need to stop this behavior. Or at the very least, we need to recognize we’re behaving badly by our little online jabs and begin to change our tone  Why? Because it’s not solving anything. And it’s robbing us of peace.

Well, and it’s making us look like bratty children who can’t get along. Yeah. That too.

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If you’re surrounded by or creating drama of your own, I get it.  I’m a recovering drama mama myself. Here are five ways to help you just say NO to drama:

  1. Listen. We need to become better listeners. Especially to that “still small voice” that we hear while we’re writing those drama-inviting posts. You know, that voice. It’s the voice we usually hear but choose to ignore.
  2. Prefer others. This means that we consider the preciousness of the relationships around us, including—but not limited to—the person we’re hoping will see that “vague” post we wrote. In the same way we don’t need unnecessary drama, our friends who have no idea what in the world we’re talking about don’t need it either.
  3. Stop trespassing. Sounds simple—but when you’re prone to trespassing (in other words, injecting yourself into a situation that you have no business being in) you literally invite drama. So, when you see a vague post, don’t reply. Don’t add fuel to the fire. Or, if you feel the need to reply, do it privately.
  4. Be quiet. Do you remember “Stop, Drop and Roll?” This simple saying was taught to me when I was very young as a way to remember how to escape a house fire.  The next time you are tempted to invite drama into your life, try this: “Stop, Drop IT, Roll on outta there”  :)
  5. Be intentional in your relationships.  Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  BOY. Ain’t that the truth.  Let me just add, a “vague” word stirs up anger, too.  If you feel the need to be vague because you are upset with someone, you probably shouldn’t be talking about it at all.  And putting things like “I can’t believe some people” on Facebook—well, that’s not getting us anywhere.

Of course, there are many ways outside of the Internet that we can invite, stir up or even cause hurtful, unnecessary drama in our lives. Even good things can go bad if we’re not careful: prayer groups (where gossip is justified), moms groups… well, you can add your own.  You know what I mean.

Bottom line: No Drama, Mama!  If your heart races when you see a post on Facebook or on another Internet site,

STOP. DROP {it}. ROLL {on outta there}.

If you need to address something that should be private, do it privately. If you’ve been hurt, don’t put it on the Internet. Just say “no” to vague-booking. Season your speech with grace. And if you are in a relationship that continually pulls you into more drama, it might be time to consider putting healthy boundaries on that relationship.

While we will never be able to be totally drama-free, we sure can eliminate a lot of it by being intentional about our relationships.

As mothers, we have an opportunity to show our children how to be “drama-free” in their own lives by demonstrating how to do it. What a gift we could give them.

You can do it, busy mom!

I’m committing to being a “No Drama Mama.”  How about you?

No_drama_commit

Pardon my dust. I’m creating a drama-free zone.
Heidi

 

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“Grab hold of that higher calling!”

In this blogging world there are so many great writers who have so much wisdom to share! I decided it’s time to invite some of them to share with my readers, so without further adieu  my first “Friday’s Friend,” Rebecca from Mom’s Mustard Seeds.

“If you would teach your kids better, they wouldn’t do that.”

Those words hurt as they were flung across asphalt. This Mama heart was in the midst of our third year homeschooling and the day the words were spoken, was the third anniversary of my Mom’s death.

I was devastated.

And those words ‘of not doing enough’ began to take root.

Steal Your Joy

I began to believe them. As I read words from others, I saw how so many Moms live in what seems like a ‘ground hog day of motherhood’. Same failures, different days. Day after day – wake up, cry, feel pity, feel guilty, seek others, go to bed, cry- repeat. I enjoyed not being ‘alone’.

I began to realize little by little that I was not moving forward. I was not living each day for the one who created me. It hit me that I was living to overcome the words that were spoken. I was living in a ‘do’ mentality.

Don't Miss the Small Moments

I was allowing the judgement and misunderstanding of one who does not know me drive me into a pit and eat away at my peace like a vulture.

Have you ever lived in that ‘do’ mentality? You know, the one where if you just ‘do’ this or you ‘do’ that, then your children will ‘do’ what they are supposed to ‘do’ and others will see that you are ‘doing’ the right thing and you’ll be loved and accepted.

But, that mentality of doing – is not where we are supposed to live.

We, as mothers, have a higher calling.

I found that calling late one night, as I curled up in a chair,wrapped in a blanket and tears poured down my cheeks.

The words I read provided my true worth and helped me to find my joy again. It was there, that I began to hear my Father, His words and His calling. He showed me the truth that while I have my own part to play, He is the one who works in me and I have to submit to His word and will:

“For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” Phil 2:13 ESV

Keep Your eye on the prize

Which then took me down a path of identifying what that looks like in my life, as his child – being the wife and mother he created me to be. Not the person, mom or wife others think I should be. Their thoughts and misunderstandings only lead me down the right path when they are founded on his word. But, it’s up to me, truly to find it and bury it in my heart.

First, I am a wife. I want to be a wife of noble character. I desire to be an excellent wife. These things are not something I can truly be or do. But, I can set my eyes on the words of God – I can bury them in my heart and meditate on them. The more I do that, the more I will become the wife I was created to be – the wife I long to be…..

Wife

Download this printable here

And then, I am a mother. In the world, motherhood has become less than a blessing. It is no longer lifted up as a position to be admired, but of one who is almost less than the lowest. I can’t keep my eyes on that. I refuse to be stuck in the monotony of a life that is less than ordinary. And I definitely do not want to to grab hold of the ground hog day mentality.

Oh, it’s easy to do – in the days of diapers and toys. The days of hormonal changes and car dashes here and there. But, our perception of truth can only be attained in the words of the Father. So, I pulled open the book and again, I sought words to guide and encourage me….

Mother

Download this printable here

To be a wife and a Mom in today’s world takes courage and perseverance. This is not an ordinary life and our love begins in our homes. But, we, Moms need to join together and grow friendships that are so beautiful that others see us and see the beauty of grace and mercy that only shines from the light of Christ. We need to learn how to disagree but get along, and embrace our differences – because we are all created by the one who created the world.

Don't Miss the Small Things

While we grab on to this life, we need to embrace the small moments with our family.

Being a wife and a Mom – it’s hard, but beautiful. Grab on and don’t miss out on the little things that matter most! There will be hard days and days that run so beautifully, we will forget the bad.

Will you join me? Let’s reach out, share the truth about the good and the bad. Let’s form a bond so close that even in the midst of the muck and mire the beauty of the Savior shines so bright it opens the eyes of those walking around with their heads down. It’s time….


Rebecca remarried the love of her life and witnesses the beauty of God’s Grace and Mercy every day of her life. Her goal is to immerse her children in God’s Love, Word, Grace and Mercy so that He is the One they seek to glorify in all of their works and deeds. She is a Project Manager by trade, climbed the corporate ladder, made that big pay check. Yet, God brought her home and she has found more joy and riches in the hugs and kisses, and yes, the tears and sweat, of being home and discipling her children than she ever found in the corporate world. The days can be long, but sitting at the foot of the cross with her children is beautiful, and she prays she will help raise up a new generation of leaders, shining the Lord’s light in our dark world. She cannot wait to encourage you in your Homeschool Journey. Find Rebecca on Facebook and Twitter and on her blog, Mom’s MustardRebecca Brandt

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2:1 Conference and a Coupon Code!

PromoBusyMom

We have a special gift to share with you, busy moms!

I love blogging :) — because it gives me a chance to connect with other busy moms. We can encourage each other every day by simply “doing life” and sharing what God is teaching us along the way.

The Titus 2:1 Conference is a “faith based conference for homeschooling parents who blog (not just about homeschooling), or are otherwise interested in social media outlets such as Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.” I had the opportunity to speak at 2:1 last year, and we had a great time! In fact, I’ve made true life-long friends through the 2:1 Conference.

What will you find at 2:1?
Fellowship with others who love the word, homeschooling encouragement and blogging tips too! If you are a blogger, a homeschooler or a child of God who seeks fellowship with other encouraging women, you won’t want to miss this conference on April 12-14, 2013!

This year,  I am sponsoring the conference, and my friends at 2:1 have created a coupon code just for my readers, because they know how much I love it. Head on over to register and use the coupon code: BusyMom to save $50 off your registration cost! That’s over a 20% savings! Register today, busy mom!  You’ll be glad you did.

Be encouraged-stay connected!
heidi

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