We’re just gearing up for my speaking season here, which is always pretty challenging.  We meet ourselves coming and going for 4 months or so.  More than once, we’ve had a little hiccup at home when my husband reminds me that it has been a while since we had spent “quality” time together.  Sometimes I cringe.  Just one.more.thing. that I need to put on my to-do list.  I feel burdened.  Yeah.  I said that.  I’ll tell you the truth: balancing marriage and motherhood is not for the faint-of-heart.

But your family, your marriage is worth it.  Let me say it again: it’s worth it. Worth investing in. Worth fighting for. Worth every ounce of energy you can muster.

The truth is that our marriage is the most precious component of our home life.  Neglect it, and the whole family suffers.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: marriage needs to come before mothering.  

Before we get into books and schedules and the busy fall routines, let’s remind ourselves: our marriages matter.

It matters.  It matters to your children and to your grandchildren. It matters for the generations that will come after you.  Truth is: your children have a better chance of staying married if you stay married.  It matters.  They’re more important than homeschooling, busy mom.

Over the past 25 years, I’ve been blessed to know some amazing families. I’ve seen them weather some pretty harsh storms, too. While there is no formula for a strong family, there are some common traits that make a family strong.  The biggest one? Strong families have strong marriages. Strong marriage—strong family.

5 Traits of a Happily Married Couple

1. Strong married couples spend time together.
   They realize that time is a commodity, just like any other, and they spend it on each other whenever possible. Working on the yard together, doing a project around the house, working out, reading, cooking—or just being.  Happy marriages require an investment of time.
2. They have a spiritual commitment to the marriage.
   “For better or for worse” means something to couples who go the distance. They don’t give up when times are hard. They forgive each other. They have a sense of commitment that goes beyond today’s cultural norms.
3. They solve problems together in a crisis.
   Rather than finger-pointing and manipulation, they put their heads together in times of crisis.  They recognize that their spouse is not the enemy—and they keep their eyes fixed what’s ahead, not what’s behind.
4. They value sexual intimacy and fidelity.
   Inside a happy marriage, sex is not a one-sided pursuit. It’s a shared commitment.  A commitment to protect the marriage through nurturing sexual fulfillment and to keep the marriage free from anything that might damage trust or break faith.
5. They communicate well with each other.
   Proverbs says, “Right words spoken in the right time are like apples of gold in a silver setting.” A strong marriage is marked by a commitment to good communication.  Happy couples can talk to each other about anything—even hard things, and do it in love.  Let love be your aim.

Your marriage is worth it.