155 thoughts on “I Want to Quit Homeschooling

  1. Thank you, Heidi!
    I think of you often – your wise words pop into my head at various times throughout my weeks. I spoke w/ you at the OCEAN conference last summer (I’m a friend of Ann’s – Daring Daughters rep for WA state). 🙂 Anyway, I just wanted to thank you, yet again, for keeping it “real” and pointing people to what really matters. I thank the Lord for your ministry. Your words have so often kept me grounded & have kept me turning my eyes to Him & the “why” we do all this in the first place. Discipleship! Relationship! Because we really only do have one life – & don’t we just want to live it well & for HIs glory?!

    A humble thank you.

  2. Thank you for your honesty. I have days like that regularly. Do you know what a relief it is to hear I am not the only one with children not doing work, and leaving lids off pens?!?! We were supposed to start back school today, but several have hand, foot and mouth, and I realised I was plain not ready! My school room, too, is a mess, and I need to get my mess sorted out before attempting any semblance of organised schooling. So, today, we are doing reading. Everyone sitting curled up doing reading. Factual, and fiction. One has been set a job in the garage by Daddy, and I am going to fill in passport forms for an amazing vacation this year! My lesson I have learned us not to get stressed when things don’t work out the way I’d hoped. There are more important things in life than “planned” schooling. Your heart, as always, is a blessing. Thank you, friend. X

  3. I cannot tell you how timely this is. I spent the last couple of days before break, along with the first full week of Christmas break, taking care of my 6 sick kids. Then the very next day I fall sick for the last week of our break. I could not conduct a school day yesterday as I was still recovering. Today I sit here, in my school room, looking at the Christmas disaster. I don’t even know where to begin. The toughest thing for me is knowing this time is so short. I fall trap to guilt and fear, believing that my high school children will be forever behind if I can’t get it all together right now. GRACE. That is the answer, and I know it, I just have to truly believe it to live it. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    1. Oh my goodness Chris! I’m so relieved to hear I’m not the only one w a Christmas mess still!! Thank you for saying that. <3

  4. Thank you for sharing! For a moment I thought you must have been in my house the other day when the same events unfolded. December was a nightmare month, a non stop schedule (two separate family long visits, birthday, week trip to DC, the holidays and the cherry to top it the flu!). And yesterday I prayed so hard that I would let any frustration in just to have it hit after hours of restraint. So again thank you, we aren’t islands and we can’t finish this race alone.

    1. I worry often about Christmas break. We are in a virtual public school so we are on the state’s holiday schedule. Our Christmas plans are a cruise that includes his very bright cousin…an attempt to keep my Aspergers child challenged. Still, I dread trying to get him (and myself) back into an organized and engaged school and household routine.

  5. Due to life threatening illness we had to place our daughter back in school this year. I once had days like this too. I would give anything to have the piles back. Never the less, I still enjoy your blog and living a little vicariously through you.

  6. I am so encouraged by your words! Do you have any advice for me… my husband and I are not in agreement over homeschooling. My heart is saying YES YES YES! Homeschooling is for my family!! but my husband not so much….. I am praying and waiting, but my heart breaks every day I send my 4yr old to school…..

    Thank you 🙂

    1. I’ve had this happen recently… Not about schooling the kids because I do homeschool. But In another area. I asked God to change one heart, either mine or his. If it’s yours you’ll feel good about sending your kids to school. But, If it’s your husbands heart then you’ll be picking out curriculum in no time. I try very hard in these situations to still be respectful and I know it’s a bad word…. But (submissive) and just allow the Lord to do the work. He’ll do it and then… It’ll be perfect!

      for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Phil 2:13

      1. I think that is a beautiful reply. 🙂 So often, we pray for what we want and maybe forget to pray for peace with what answer re receive. Thank you.

      2. I think it is important to clarify what submission means. It is not a bad word. It is just that many of us think it means some sort of domination of men over women which is an inaccurate translation of its meaning usually associated with our own experience. According to Theology of the Body, being submissive to one’s husband means being under his mission. His mission is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church, to lay his life down for her even if that means death. I’m okay with that.
        I recommend that you and your husband and child pray together for God’s will in this situation. The answer will come and all will be at peace. If your husband will not pray, which happened to me, just pray yourself and the answer will still come and you will be at peace.

    2. Just keep praying. My daughter and I had been praying for several years for homeschooling when a school crises too big to ignore caused him to finally agree. He is now, only a year later, my rock offering encouragement and help on the tough days. Sometimes it takes a while for a person to get out of the public/Christian school mindset. When they do have an aha moment they wish they would’ve done this in the beginning. Giving it to God, prayer, and planting the seed in my husbands mind was the best approach in our case. Good luck

    3. Alexis,
      My hubby did not want to homeschool at the beginning either. Finally, at the end of my oldest son’s 2nd grade year in a private school, he was having so much trouble “fitting into the school mold” that I demanded we TRY it, for ONE year, with ONE kid. He agreed… and here we are, 6 years and 3 more kids later, in a beautiful (though not easy:) homeschooling life that he thanks God for all the time and brags about to other people. For our family, it took trying it out for him to see what a blessing it is for us. Keep praying, and if you have good reasons to believe God is calling, ask to TRY it for one year and see what happens!

      1. Thank you everyone! So encouraging! Yes praying for ONE of our hearts to change is great advice. I will continue to pray and wait and see what happens. I love this community 🙂

  7. Perfect words for my heart right now! Thank you. I’ll be back to read them again when these feelings of discouragement rise again. Xo

  8. I needed this post. I am a little creeped out that maybe you may have been spying on me yesterday. Although…I didn’t get a cookie. Time to bake some cookies!

  9. My attitude and feelings exactly. Thanks for the reminder of the privilege to homeschool my kids. What I want is not necessarily best for my kids. The easy road Is not the one God has called me to, but this road is the best one. I’m glad He guides, He helps, He moves us.

  10. Thank you… I homeschooled my kids for two years… put them in public school… even though my heart knew I was wrong… now I’m three years back into homeschooling… and I regret completely regret putting them in public school… it changed my kids… homeschooling them now is so hard… I can’t explain how public school ruined them… in so many ways… I am struggling… a lot… some days it would be easier to put them back into public school… and yet I know taht’s not true… I love what God is doing now in my kids… I have to say I am struggling though… not sure what curriculums to use each kid is so different in how they learn… that’s been my biggest frustration… my middle child was deeply wounded by teasing in Public school because she wasn’t faster than the other kids or smarter… so now she throws fits screaming tantrums…and she’s in 5th grade… it’s so hard… It’s been a tough 3 years… my youngest has learning issues (he’s High functioning autistic) My husband and I are church planters and co pastors of a Church… and run our own business… and we live in rural America where homeschooling is looked down upon… when I lived in the city it was commonplace… right now I am struggling… the one thing that keeps me going is the Holy Spirt speaking to my heart… letting me know I am doing the right thing…

    1. candi – I just stumbled upon this blog via a homeschool meetup group and was moved by your frustration to respond. Have you ever considered unschooling? When I first read about it I thought it was an insane idea; however, after homeschooling my kids for a while now and seeing how the learning process works with them, I GET IT! I urge you to research it some from all angles. Read John Holt, John Taylor Gratto, Blake Boles, Sandra Dodd (although she can be a bit harsh), Psychology Today (search it for unschooling) and others. I believe there is a Christian Unschooling website as well. It sounds like your daughter would highly benefit from being able to deschool and then learn at her own rate what she wants to learn about. Also, I have a friend who has a high functioning autistic son and he is thriving in unschooling. If you choose to try it, please listen to what people say about not jumping in all at once. I made that mistake and it set us back quite a bit. Also…I think the term unschooling can be a bit misleading. It does not mean learning doesn’t happen. It just doesn’t happen like it does at school. Good luck.

      Heidi – GREAT article!

      1. What a timely message for me from Heidi today. I’ve been homeschooling for 5 years now. I’ve had 3 sick kids since Nov. 30, with stomach bugs, flu, mono, strep, walking pneumonia & bronchitis and just found out my children’s allergies to food means a whole new way of life. So exhausted I want to quit & start over next year. Each year I am drawn to the idea of unschooling which I think we already do some. I just always get bogged down by our curriculum & always feeling behind. Each year I look at the most memorable & greatest learning moments & they are the trips & hands on learning that wasn’t in the curriculum. I hear a lot about unschooling for grade school but I’d love to find more info on doing it for high school. Thanks.

    2. Candi, your children are not ruined. Things happen for a reason, that experience may be important in your children’s lives and yours, in ways you don’t see now. There are no perfect situations, life is messy and we just try to do our best for our families and accept what comes, asking for peace and grace to muddle through, with love. One day at a time.

      1. Thank you Jean I agree my kids aren’t ruined… there are things that happened that I wish I could undo though… it’s like detoxing some stuff out of them… learning from it and moving forward… some day’s when stuff that happened is so profound… I kick myself for my choice… keep moving forward… learning and growing through it…

    3. I love all these replies to you, Candi–and I appreciate your honesty. Most every homeschool mom, including me, has entertained the thought of putting the kids in school. The reality is that we need to do what God has asked us to do. God is working all things together for YOUR GOOD right now, even as you are struggling. Keep following Him. This is one reason I love the Internet … ((group hug)) xoxo, Heidi

  11. We public school teachers go through these same things. Plus seeing lots of kids with deprivation, no discipline at home, etc. Hang in there!

  12. Thank you Heidi! I’m struggling with such guilt about my attitude toward homeschooling! It’s a great reminder that His mercies are new every morning even for a mom with a bad attitude!

  13. For the most part, my kids enjoy schoolwork. They are still fairly young and schoolwork makes them feel special, even my 2 year old NEEDS schoolwork. My 6 year old grumbles about writing but, other than that, they want so bad to get their schoolwork done. It is the chaos that surrounds it that is hard for me. I mean, my 2 year old just walked up to me with hands all “yucky, mom.” Apparently his found a way into the glue… Yea, I am dragging my feet to go into the other room to discover what that mess looks like. Papers scattered, drawings on my walls and tables, books and laundry scattered. My boys got a new electronic from Grandma for Christmas, they aren’t allowed on it until homework is done. So yea , almost as soon as they awake, they want to bust through all of their schoolwork so they can play. I am still recovering from the “rest” of the holidays!! Reading this was a blessing to me, thank you. Sometimes a little reset button and perspective is what is needed to get back on track. That, and maybe a cookie!! 😉

  14. Your naked honesty is as refreshing and encouraging as anything I’ve ever read. People on the ‘outside’ have these ideas that homeschooling parents have it all together. Some days that is true, but I, too, have spent those days in tears and it is such and encouragement to hear other parents also struggle through. It was good to be reminded that I homeschool for the privilege of seeing my kids grow and learn in our home and with tons of quantity time for all those quality moments to fall into. Something I need to hold onto in those ‘Why can’t you just get your work done without my constant reminders! moments.

  15. Heidi- ” i want to stop homeschooling.” I said these same words yesterday!! Thank you so much for this timely encouragement from the Lord. Needed to hear this today. xo

    1. Heather, I was talking to a dear friend via text message last night—and she had the same day. #backtoschool ! I think we’re all a lot more alike than we realize sometimes. Blessings to you!

  16. Thank you so much for being real & posting this. I can relate & needed this encouragement & reminder! May Jesus bless us all as we jump back into doing what we’ve been called to do! (With a good, fresh, purpose_ filled perspective!)

  17. Thank you! Just last week I was sitting in my school room floor between the piles and the trash bags trying to get ready for the New Year. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one.

  18. i haven’t even begun homeschooling yet and already feel like quitting sometimes. Lol. Trying to simply manage my home, nurture my marriage & relationship w God, and keep my three children alive every day is mind boggling. I already fantasize abt sending kids to school but for all the reasons you mentioned –because I’m so deeply aware of the privilege– I feel like there’s no other option and I’m gonna do what it takes. Also –most of the time–I really REALLY like my kids.

  19. Thank you for being so open. I have been home schooling for 24 years and can identify exactly with all you just described. It helps a great deal to occasionally see that I am not the only one struggling as you do. Maybe it is time to share a cookie with my last child- a sophomore in high school- and then get to the library…

  20. I just said this just today! My main problem is the noise! The noise, noise, noise (to quote The Grinch)! I work from home and just need some quiet. Oh, the days when they used to go to school and I had 7 hours of quiet time (which I squandered, of course). I really feel so privileged to be able to have my kids home with me, to learn along side them, to know what they’re learning, etc. I need to remember that and be thankful for the joy of the noise…

  21. Were you in my house on Saturday night? Because my organizing for Monday morning looked almost identical to yours even to the ranting about “deceit” of them not doing certain subjects. Thank you for your honesty and encouragement. Nice to know I am not “alone” in my self-pity sometimes. The good news thanks to Jesus (and you), I don’t have to stay there!

  22. Your school room adventure perfectly described my day yesterday, as I had waited till the very last minute to prepare for our second (EVER!) semester of homeschooling our two boys. And as I fought lethargy and tears from my 8-year-old this morning I wondered what the heck I was thinking, leaving our small private school (where I also worked), giving up free tuition AND a paycheck in the process. But then we curled up on the couch to read “The Odyssey,” and our one scheduled chapter morphed into three with excited pleas for more. It was then that I finally remembered why we left the chaos of school behind us. This is by far the most difficult task I’ve undertaken, but encouragement from you and other veteran homeschoolers are what keep me going. Thank you for your honesty and humor, and helping me see beyond today. God bless you!

  23. Wow. Reading this was perfect timing. I’ve been feeling like this for the last month. I knew it was going to be hard, but it is surprising how hard the first year really is! I’ve heard speak and read not only your book, but every other book I could find. It’s helped me so much, but not as much as this post. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I needed to read this.

  24. Thank you! I never had thoughts to quit because it was hard on me. It was due to how others view homeschoolers and how homeschoolers treat other people esp to one of my kids. It is heartbreaking to see it happening. Homeschooling needs to be separate from religion. I am sticking with homeschooling through and through. However my kids are having a negative view of it all because of how homeschoolers treat each other. Perhaps this could be discuss in the future to be careful to make homeschool a religion instead of an educational choice.

  25. This is very timely and quite an encouragement. I’m not sure if I’m called to do this homeschooling thing or not. I will probably forever question it since my kids were fine in public school, although my daughter struggled academically. We tried a small private school their fourth grade year and have been homeschooling since they entered ffifth grade. We have triplet 15 year old freshmen now! What a ride! I have no problem having them go back to traditional school and neither does my husband. But, my kids say they LOVE homeschooling! I actually miss the “school activities.” I subbed at their elementary school before we left and I was a previous kindergarten teacher prior to having triplet babies. I just keep telling myself that we would probably have anywhere from 2-4 hours of homework every night after having been in school for 6-7 hours a day. And that is not really a life I’d want. Plus, I realize this is better for my struggling daughter academically. We belong to an excellent homeschool group which I would recommend hands down for anyone to join. The support is amazing! Heidi, you’re amazing, too. Thanks for “keeping it real” because I thought you had it “all together,” too. LOL! (BTW, I’m a friend of April Turner’s).

    1. Hi Teri! Hey. Any friend of April’s is a friend of mine. 🙂 I love that you’re letting the years unfold and learning along with way, like the rest of us. Keep at it. You’ve got this. 🙂

  26. I have 9 kids and have been homeschooling for 23 years (7y to 26. I knew I had to read what you said…. I have been struggling for the past year or so about wanting to be done, but not wanting to send the kids to public school. Recently we have become more aware of the different temptations / views that our children are faced with in this “media” age. It strengthens our resolve to keep on keeping on. I rejoice too in those moments with our youngest…. 🙂 I also keep focusing on how I am training her up in the way she will go – this is ALL new to her. She was not there when we were teaching these things to her older siblings. We are so blessed!

    1. Boy I can relate! One of these years, I need to hold a retreat for moms who have actually homeschooled a bunch of children all the way through and need a celebration weekend! Thanks, Lori!

  27. I love the posts that make me laugh AND cry! When I woke up Monday morning my heart sank at the realization that we had to get back to school. We were already behind by 9:00am and I was grumpy and agitated. And I kept thinking to myself “I actually CHOOSE to do this.” Meanwhile I had visions of my girlfriends dropping their children off at school and coming home to their peaceful homes to clean up from Christmas and enjoy quiet time. I SO needed this post today! I know that when it is all over and my house is eerily quiet I will look back and wonder how I allowed myself to get so frustrated.

  28. Ladies:

    I am not a homeschool Mom. In fact, I am not even a Mom. However, I follow Heidi’s blog because of the encouragement she brings to me as a woman and wife. I’ve read all the comments on this thread and I just wanted you all to know that I think you are all heroes for all the sacrifices you make everyday to make sure your children are being educated in a safe environment as well as taking care of everything else in your lives. I applaud you for the thousands of hours you are investing in your children’s lives and for the unselfish ability to keep going even when everything around you seems so crazy. You are inspiring to me. Keep up the good work…I know it is most certainly worth it.

  29. I really needed this today and the 2nd week of December when I threw in the towel and called it Christmas break 2 weeks early. We took an extra long break and I still wasn’t emotionally ready to start back yesterday. Thanks for writing this and reminding me that it is a privilege and it WILL be worth it. Tomorrow will be better.

  30. I so needed to read this. Thank you. I only have two and we have been homeschooling for four years. I have seen almost miracles in learning in both of my children. Today I wanted to quit. Today I wanted to throw everything away that we have worked for and burn it, until I saw something I was very worried about turn out to be nothing to worry about.
    God knew. He knew what I needed to see and He showed it to me. I had gotten into a very bad habit of listening to those in my family who were very against homeschool and tried to satisfy them by doing things. It hit me today–It doesn’t matter what they say I SHOULD BE DOING. They don’t know my children as well as I do. I knew what my children needed and I was doing it, until I allowed Satan to come through and try and discourage me. God knocked Satan out of the way and told me I was doing just fine in what I was teaching and how I was teaching it. God showed me, through my children. Thank you again for sharing your story and how we all feel like quitting sometimes, but the main thin is–WE DON’T QUIT!

    Bethanie 🙂

  31. Heidi, Thank you so much for this article! I have been struggling so much with wanting to quit as well over this past while, due to death in the family and piles and piles of stress. Your words just penetrate my heart! I want to come and see you in California this summer!!!

    1. I am sorry for your loss Tara. Two years ago I was helping my dad care for my mother who was terminally ill and eventually passed away. I almost quit several times and, in fact, actually enrolled my children in a local school, but didn’t send them at the very last minute because my mom asked me not to do that because of her. It was a very rough year and I know that we didn’t have the kind of academic year I wanted and some days we just didn’t do school at all, but that particular year wasn’t about school, it was about a lot of other life lessons. Looking back, I think I needed my children and homeschool to distract me from all of the stress and grief. I’m not sure it would’ve been better for me to be here without them, despite how hard schooling was at times. I obviously don’t know your particular situation, but hang in there and know that you are not alone!

    2. Tara, I know how hard it can be to homeschool when there are other family situations going on. My children are done with school now, but 11 years ago, when hey were still in elementary school, I was diagnosed with cancer. The treatments were so hard on me that I could hardly get out of bed, let alone take care of my house, husband, or homeschooling. To top it off, my sister and her two kids were living with us in a two bedroom house at the time. It would’ve been so easy to just send my children to the public school 3 blocks from our house. But, we didn’t. They stayed at home and learned how to do ‘real life’ instead of ‘school life’ that year, and it turned out fine. So hang in there. God is able to cause us to stand, even when He has to first lift us up from the floor to do it. Blessings to you!

  32. Thank you, these were the words I needed to hear! We are returning from not just our Christmas break, but also from the birth/addition of baby number 7. Yesterday was also my day of talking to myself, which in turn became yelling at the kids about how I simply cannot do EVERYTHING (not my proudest moment)! Your post is a great reminder and puts WHY I’m doing this into such clear perspective…thank you

  33. Thank you, these were the words I needed to hear! We are returning from not just our Christmas break, but also from the birth/addition of baby number 7. Yesterday was also my day of talking to myself, which in turn became yelling at the kids about how I simply cannot do EVERYTHING (not my proudest moment)! Your post is a great reminder and puts WHY I’m doing this into such clear perspective…thank you

  34. Reading all of this is, well company for my misery, sort of. So sorry to be a downer but it’s been really tough. Being confined to a wheelchair for the past 5 years has made things even more difficult. The kids won’t help with baking, decorating nothing. The grown kids who have moved out complain that since Mom’s house doesn’t have a tree up, we’ll just have Christmas elsewhere. There is no encouragement ot support for the lady who was full-time mom for 25 years; dadgummit, I taught them al how to read, do math and find anywhere on a map.
    My very best hs mom friend is coming tomorrow for Tea. She is a true blessing.
    Thanks for the vent.

    1. Hang in there, Luci. I wish I had more comfort for you … but I do know this: you are seen. I’m glad your friend is coming over to encourage you. Sounds like the timing is just perfect. Hugs, heidi

  35. Our family returned from a New Year’s week ski trip on Sunday (so much fun, but, oh, the mountain of laundry we brought home!). My husband, as principal, of course, declared Monday a Restoration Day, a day off school so I could unpack and wash the mountain of laundry, organize the boys’ closets, repack all the winter clothes (We live in Florida – It’s up to 84F in the afternoons.), and stow the Christmas decorations. The one thing that didn’t get accomplished – cleaning our “learning room” and preparing my lesson plans. Well, my determination to start our new semester today meant we were sitting in a room with clutter everywhere, and yes, I did find a few markers with no lids (I think it’s a conspiracy.). As we sat surrounded by chaos, the boys and I all had a case of the “grumpies”. Our morning quickly became a long string of imperative sentences. You know the ones: “Don’t kick your brother. Pay attention. Put the crayon down. Sit still. Listen. Stop whining.” Ugh.

    Then something amazing happened. My youngest son, with tears starting to fall down his cheeks, interrupted my sentence to say, “Mama, I don’t think I’m saved. Can we talk about it?” That did it. All of my last minute school plans for the day just flew out the window. Here is what is truly important, eternally important, and my perspective was suddenly righted. Somewhere in one of the many piles on my lateral file, I quickly found the “Forgiven” booklet. For the next hour, we read each page and talked at length about what each verse and picture meant. At the end, “Mama, can I pray and ask God to forgive my sin since Jesus died for me?” And he did. I told him the Angels were singing just for him.

    When he left the room a bit later, my older son, who had been sitting next to me while I was talking with my youngest, tapped me on the arm. “Mama, I need to get saved, too.”. He and I briefly reviewed the booklet again, addressing his sin and need for forgiveness, then he, too accepted Christ.

    My plans for our school day fell apart, but my God still has the power to turn my finite blunderings into something beautiful. Who knew the Angels would sing for our family twice in one day? What a glorious day!

  36. Thank you all so much. I feel so encouraged by reading all these comments. Mid-year blues, post holiday stress, messy schoolrooms – Amazing the common threads that join us all! I know I won’t quit mid-year but sure feel like it especially when things fall behind. I’ve been thinking about next year already and know deep, deep down God will keep guiding. It is certainly a privilege. Thank you,Heidi, for your honesty and encouragement. Happy New Year!

  37. Wow!!!! Jill that is AMAZING. I have tears in my eyes reading that. Praising God with you—-and with all the angles who are rejoicing.

  38. I NEEDED this story. Here the past month I really have felt like I’m holding my children back because I’m not organized, we skip days sometime, I just feel my inadequateness will stump the intellegence of my children. I really wanted to quit. I believe this is the Godly confirmation I needed. As my name is Heidi as well it was like God himself named it for me. THANK YOU for your transparency and encouragement. God Bless

  39. We might have just been crying with frustration at the exact same moment. And the first 2 days back haven’t been easy, but we’re easing back into it. Thanks for voicing what many of us our feeling!

  40. Absolutely amazing how the Lord lets you know you aren’t the only one going thru the aftermath of Christmas chaos and preparing to get back into the swing of things. I had felt like such a numbskull at the pity party I was having about not feeling I’m doing it good enough and have to change this and do that and was stressing out, wow… when I regained my emotions, I prayed and asked the Lord for help… He gave it to me, I got the answers I needed and then lo and behold I read your article and I am jumping for joy… You always talk about the thing I am going thru and it just confirms all the Lord either has shown me thru His Word or has guided me to something to spark a fire in me. Thank you so much for being so real and earthy. I thank the Lord for the ministry He has called you to, in helping all of us homeschool moms. The Lord bless you richly my friend. Have an awesome year. <3

  41. I just texted these very word to a fellow homeschooling friend yesterday. I just had a day of tears and frustration yesterday. I just had my oldest son ask to pray over me as he saw me break, YESTERDAY. Yesterday I posted on Facebook that I wondered if I could still enroll my kids – and then I saw this first thing on the feed TODAY. Thank you for your words of encouragement! Thank you for letting God use your voice to minister to me!

  42. I don’t know how you do it! I have 3 in school (13,8,7) a 9mo and I babysit my 20mo nephew and I really struggle to be organized with their school work. I’m on year 2 and I feel completely unable to do this! I feel called that’s why we are doing it but I am TERRIFIED that my children will not be smart enough and suffer for it! I seriously wish I could sit in your school room for a week and see how you teach your children, what curriculum you use, how you organize and structure and plan, how you keep them on task find time to grade, read, write and return their work, spend fun time with them and take care of littles, clean house and feed them all!!! I AM FAILING OVER HERE! 🙁

    1. HI Carreen, my hunch is that you are NOT failing. You just think you are. Most of the time, we are harder on ourselves than we need to be. I promise—if you’ll love your kids, roll with the ups and downs, clean when you can and focus on the MAJORS and not the minors, you, AND YOUR KIDS, will be just fine. Have you read my book, “The Guide to Daylight?” It sounds like just the thing you need. There is a banner for it on my blog. I think it will really encourage you. Hugs! heidi

  43. Heidi,
    Awesome and encouraging and so timely. I’m always so blessed by your raw honesty. God seems to have given you a special dispensation when it comes to taking real life and putting it into words or even taking emotions that seem to hard to communicate and the words seem to roll off of you like they’re coming our of my own mind. Thank you! I know life is super busy, especially as we all readjust to life after Christmas break. If you have a moment to scroll through a couple of older posts. I’d be so blessed if you could read what I shared with you on your “Christmas books” post and also on your “Welcome Real Life Christmas”. Praying for you and your ministry.

  44. I do not homeschool, I work full time and my kids both attend public school, but I feel the same way about wanting to quit my job and the kids quitting school to stay home and snuggle all day long.

    The grass is never greener on the other side is it? We all want what we don’t have at least in our head that is. I used to have mommy guilt about not staying home with my kids but over the years I’ve learned that working is the best thing for our family. I teach and connect with each of my kids everyday. I feel warm and joyous every time I see and hear them learn and cultivate who they will be in this world. I truly believe that all parent’s are privileged just to be a parent.

    To all parent’s, those that homeschool or stay at home or work don’t ever give up it’s always worth the energy and being a parent never ends I hear it just gets better.


  45. Thank you for words of encouragement…we just started homeschooling in October and I already feel like I’m doing everything wrong…most days we don’t know if we are coming or going..with much anticipation to start back this week both kids 8 & 13 are sick so the frustrations of “we are behind” continues to grow…I have read blog after blog, articles on homeschooling galore…any suggestions of materials to help us figure out how to move forward…I have crazy questions regarding schedules, how long per day, per subject, days per year, records, what if I’m doing too much or oh my not enough!!! I know this is a calling from the Lord, I just kick myself for not starting when they were little, however God is good and I trust his guidance and those he places along our path to guide us…Many blessings to you and your family…

    1. Hi Jodie! I have written several blog posts on this subject 🙂 Type “homeschooling” into the search bar or click on the categories and you’ll find them. I have also written a book called “The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Daylight” that will help you with a lot of the questions you are asking. There is a link to it on the side of my blog. You can do this!

  46. Thank you! This is the most honest post I’ve seen in awhile. Every mom goes through this and thank you for sharing the bad instead of just Pinterest-worthy photos.

  47. This is great. Boy, do I get it. We are on year 20 of homeschooling with our eight. Two are adults now and two in college. It is so worth it, but the past two years have been the hardest. I am tired (and a lot older!) But in my heart, I know I need to finish with the last ones – give it my all and enjoy the privilege because it will soon be over. And I will have no regrets. Thanks for sharing this.

  48. i know you wrote this for me ;). I am so tired today. I have had 7 children and a hubby with the flu. The last thing I want to do is to think about finishing the last half of this school year. I just want to take a break. I felt like no one would understand. Thank you for the sweet reminder.

  49. Thank you, thank you!! I needed this encouragement tonight. I “quit” yesterday. Lol. What a day it was!! Whew. I got up this morning and was determined to have a better day. I am a mom of five….10th grader, 7th grader, 1st grader and 18 mo. old twins. 🙂 My plate is full but so is my heart!!!

  50. Were you a fly on the wall of my house recently? You had to have been because this is EXACTLY what has been going on, down to glancing through the long-ago work of my adult children. I have been so BURNT OUT and ready to quit. Whiny. Grumpy. I needed to read this more than I have the words to express. I’m still praying for God to restore my joy of homeschooling, but reading this post let me know that I’m truly not alone. Thank you!

    1. Tracy, are we living parallel lives? Looks like it. You are not alone! Let’s both hang in there. 🙂 Thanks for reading and for leaving a comment. Us bloggers love things like that… new love language. 🙂

  51. I;ve been homeschooling since 2010 and I know that we all, as moms and teachers, have good days and bad days. This past years our bad days have outweighed the good ones, and I am seriously considering putting my oldest in school. She is incredibly disrespectful, disobedient, and unwilling to learn or try new things – but only with me. When others teach her, she is a willing, enthusiastic student. I am not one of those people who has been “called” to teach my children all the way through school, yet I am still struggling with this decision. Is it right to send some of my children to school and not others? I also don’t want to feel guilty or like a failure. Im doing the best I can but I am really discouraged these days. The younger ones are so distracted by the oldest that they can’t concentrate. I have a 6yo who can’t read! All the kids are falling behind, and I can’t see a way out.

    1. Hi Nicole, thanks for stopping by and for writing the truth. I am the kind of girl who really appreciates honesty. Especially when it comes to mothering.
      Here’s the thing: my hunch is that you are doing a much better job than you realize you’re doing. The comments you are making about your child are things I have said about my kids from time-to-time. I’m not saying that’s the way it should be all the time or that it’s right—but it’s real. Don’t let it defeat you. I believe that’s the main tactic of the enemy… to make us feel like that thing we felt called to do is the thing that will bring us down. Many moms have 6 yr olds who are struggling to read. You have time to catch up. I would suggest finding some real, honest women you can share your journey with. Even if it’s online—real moms will tell you their struggles, too. At the end of the day, if God is asking you to do this, then your job is to obey. Maybe you are expecting too much… sometimes we moms do that our ourselves, too. I’m also a huge fan of co-ops, tutors and online classes. Spread the load. Ease up on yourself and breathe. I wish I was there. I’d give you a big hug. Blessings… heidi

  52. This was my first year homeschooling. It was hard. I did quit. Not a day goes by that I don’t think I’m messing up my child by putting him in school. It might not be forever but I just didn’t have the support I (really) needed and my relationship with him was being strained and it was just a bad scene for everyone involved. I have come to a point where I know it’s not really “quitting” when we as mom’s do what we know is best for our children…and me just being his mom and not “teacher” this year is what was best..for now. 🙂

    1. Keep walking with the Lord, Andi! He’s going to give you what you need for whatever journey He has you on. Each choice has it’s ups and downs. The important thing is that you follow God’s leading. Blessings to you, friend!

  53. I love that you’re so real and relateable. You’re so honest and thats such a breath of fresh air. Like so many others I have tears in my eyes.
    We also started back to school this week. I was dreading it so much because before our break I was so done. We had been having a rough time with school, we moved mid september from pdx to Bend. In November I panicked that we werent doing enough and bought a big new curiculum kit. As you can probably imagine, that was pretty rough. So, ya, I was dreading it. But, I have been just praying so hard this week

    November I panicked that we werent doing enough

    1. Sorry, typing this on my nook and its freaking out!!

      Anyway, I have been praying so hard this week, and the Lord has really breathed new life into all of us. I am so encouraged by this week. It has been such a precious week.
      I am so thankful for you!! Thankyou for sharing your struggles and triumphs.

      1. Hi Emily! Thanks for taking the time to share a little bit of your time here. I hope you find all kinds of encouragement here. Really, homeschool moms are not all that different from each other… hard days, good days, ups, downs. Thanks for coming along for the ride with me. You can do it, it will be worth it! ((hugs!!))

  54. I really appreciate this article abd it couldn’t have come on a better day…. This was me today. I have had one of those days that I felt like throwing in the towel. Needed to put things into perspective

  55. Wow, I’m in tears, I have just stumbled upon your blog for the first time. After taking a 3 month break to move and celebrate the holidays, we just started back at it this week. Although you could call it a successful week, it left me feeling worn, ragged (in tears) and wondering why I have chosen this. Your words have reminded me of what I would be missing if I weren’t homeschooling and, even more, what I HAVE BEEN missing even though I am homeschooling. Thank you for this incredibly encouraging post!

    1. Welcome to my little virtual home, Lindsy! I’m glad you’re here. ((hugs)) from one busy mom to another! We’re in this together… and it’s good, even when it’s hard. (now you can say it back to me…) 🙂 Blessings!

  56. Because, God is good all day every day!!!!!
    I had just stepped outside this morning on my back porch with my coffee, to just grovel in my self-pity, and THSC, sent an email with this blog!!! My head was spinning, my eyes were blurry and my heart was hardening!! My son, was driving me crazy this morning and procrastinating with his school. THANK YOU!!! God, spoke to me and enlightend me, through YOU, this morning !! Praise Him, thank Him and trust Him, that is what is foremost on my heart!! Now time for school!’

    Thank you again!

  57. Hello, my name is Karen, and I do want to quit homeschooling. My son (age 9) is ADHD and he is totally ruining our home. Our 7 year old daughter is doing well in spite of all of it, but I desperately need help. We are seeking ADHD treatment, but that is in the beginning stages. We do not want to use the public school system for several reasons, but I feel we are running out of options. I am asking for the prayers and advise of anyone out there who could help us.

  58. Wow! I was feeling this way and afraid to admit that I wanted a longer break as well. I just feel like people who don’t get the reason why we homeschool is just waiting to see us give up! Yes it certainly is a privilege to be part of my daughters educational development knowing first hand where she is excelling and where she needs to take a little more time. I know God is leading us because when I am afraid and don’t have the right answers to how to help her feel more excited about math I get a little inspiration from a silent prayer and we power on together saying “I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me!” Thank you so much for the courage to say what I feel but also remind me to be thankful for this precious gift!

  59. I hear what you are saying but my issue with thinking about stopping homeschooling is not frustration (although I do have moments). My concern is that I am not getting everything covered with 5 kids, 5 years apart. I sometimes feel that I am pulled in so many directions that they would be better served if they were in a school setting. I love homeschooling but I worry that I can not manage high school with so many younger ones.

  60. I have been to three conventions where you have spoken. I have always been inspired and encouraged, and yes, sometimes convicted, from your words. I LOVE what you have written above. This, this post that you have written is what we homeschooling moms need to read at this time of year. This is that time where it is hard. We are tired and cold! I am so glad that I took time to read it. And aren’t you so thankful for that little one who had that kindness to check on you? My Seth is my littlest one, and while he pushes all of my buttons and brings me to the brink of insanity, he loves me and hugs me, and he tells me “I uve you, momma.” Thank you so much for your heart for us! I am looking forward to the pj party in SC when you are here! Praise the Lord for homeschooling conventions! Take care!!

    1. I’m so blessed by your comment, Chandra! Thank you for the encouragement—we all need it, don’t we? I am looking forward to seeing you in SC! xoxo

  61. As I was catching up on email (obviously really old seeing when I first read this) I came across this post at the right, God-given moment. I am very thankful for your encouragement. I needed to read this, TODAY! I have been discouraged that I am not teaching enough-or that my kids are missing something important that I have failed to teach them. Call it over thinking, I call it stress. This post reminded me of the WHY, and that I need to let God take care of the HOW. Thank you for being His vessel for a stressed, over thinking momma!

    1. Hi Loni! Welcome to my little corner of the Internet! I’m glad you stopped by. I know what you mean about “over thinking,” in fact, I think we all do it. 🙂 So glad you were encouraged today! Blessings on your journey! xoxo heidi

  62. Thank you for writing this. I was beginning to wonder if I was alone in my frustration. I experience the same things. I will take a breather and hope and pray for the best as well! Good luck to you, too! 🙂

  63. I’m so happy that I found your blog through Homeschooling on a Dime sharing “Homeschooling Held Hostage.” That post, and this post, have really spoken to me. I have not even officially started our homeschooling journey yet, and have already been toying with the idea of quitting. My daughter will be kindergarten age this coming school year, and as I have been researching all that needs to be done I have been feeling so overwhelmed and questioning my ability, even though I was a certified teacher in the school system before having children. I having praying for guidance in making my decision, as I know that I have to make my decision soon. My husband is all for homeschooling, but with all the responsibility of it sitting on my shoulders I have been so unsure of what the right decision is, after reading this post, it is definitely more clear. Thank you so much.

  64. I’ve been so angry, beyond patient. I swear everyday ends in a battle and it seems nothing has stuck! My daughter and I both are in tears saying we can’t do this anymore more often than not. That’s not what this should be like! I don’t want her to hate learning because I can’t handle the hard moments. It’s not fair to her!

    But I have never felt so much peace from reading a blog, an article, or chatting with my fellow homeschooling neighbors. I’m bawling! Your words are very powerful! I can relate to all the struggle. I know all of us homeschooling moms can, we have a wonderful support in countless strangers, it’s incredible. I’m humbled after reading this post and feel the need to apologize to my father in heaven and to my daughter. Thank you Heidi for your sweet observation in such a difficult trial. Thank you so much for sharing. You never know just how much you can change a persons life just by opening your heart and mind and ultimately the words you share.

    1. Hi Mindy. <3 Thank you. I'm so glad to hear you're encouraged today! You have been an encouragement to me in the middle of it all. ((hugs)) from Washington!

  65. Have you been spying on me?! 😉 No doubt many of us could’ve written the beginning of this article, lol. Thanks for your honesty. And encouragement.

  66. one year after you write this and it still hits home!! I want to quit, and yet the Lord has not seen fit to allow this. I’m still learning….thank you for your encouragement!

  67. I Googled ” I want to quit homeschooling because I don’t feel my husbands support,” I knew I was going to find a blog that would have me sobbing my frustrations out instead of yelling them (frustrations) to my kids or husband. Ultimately I need to lean on God’s support when I’m feeling unsupported. Everything else will fall in place. Thank you so much for your encouraging words of wisdom. Thank you. God bless you

  68. Thank you. I needed that encouragment and the reassurance- that I am not the only homeschool mom who wants to quit sometimes!

  69. Thank you. It was just what my weary heart needed to hear after a very LONG day of homeschooling, while juggling this ride called motherhood.

  70. Thank you so much! I was reading this in that moment of feeling discouraged and unworthy (by academic definition). This article brought tears to my eyes and your words truthfully spoke encouragement to my soul! Thank you!

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