Don’t Let Your Youth Pastor Raise Your Kids

There is no substitute for a good parent.

Sweet mom—do you know how important your job is? The questions this generation is asking are big.

They’re soul-altering big.

They’re too big to ignore. I believe the questions this generation is asking will define our culture.

Several years ago, I found this soul-nugget in the book of Luke:

“When a child is fully trained, he will be like his teacher.” Luke 6:40

Little children who are playing blocks on the kitchen floor will soon be standing on the Senate floor—sent there by another generation of children who are, at this moment, sitting on the laps of their mothers.

Sweet mom, you are in the soul-training business. It's a holy calling. Stay in there. You are doing an eternal work in the lives of your children.

Many years ago, I sat and listened as a tearful mom from a small Illinois town told me a cautionary tale about her daughter. Christian home. Good parents. Church-going. All-the-right-stuff … and her daughter was gone. Anne’s daughter, heavily influenced by a school counselor and deeply entrenched in a community of kids who did not share her family’s faith, had decided to walk away from God, and from everything their family held dear. She moved out shortly before graduating from high school.

… when a student is fully trained, he will be like his teacher.

Anne felt blind-sided.  “We sent her to youth group every Wednesday! She was at every youth event they had! Our youth pastor knew my daughter better than I did! Why didn’t he say something?”

Devastated, Anne struggled with voices that echoed in her soul. She felt the familiar sting of guilt, a favorite tool of the enemy, as it spoke condemnation into her life, carried along by  a cruel consequence of poor choices: regret. Anne regretted not being more involved in her daughter’s spiritual life—but even more than that, she regretting believing that her pastor could take her place in the life of her daughter.

She was telling me a story I had heard many times in my seventeen years as a pastor’s wife—and I share it with you, because I want to speak for your pastor: He wants you to know that he doesn’t want to raise your kids. In fact, he can’t.

Parents, there’s no substitute for being in the Word of God. Your pastor’s job is to rally the troops—to teach, to admonish, to encourage you to do what only you can do: walk with God daily on your own. A youth pastor’s job is to encourage your children toward right thinking and right relationship with God—but he’s no substitute for you. 

I have heard it said that we have “lost” this generation of kids, but I don’t believe it. You don’t just “lose” kids. You lose their parents first. Parents are lost to discouragement, disillusionment and fear—but we must not give in to fear. We can’t simply drop our kids off at school or church and leave the parenting up to others. It is our responsibility alone.  Now is the time. My generation of parents is fully up to bat. We must not fail in teaching our children what it means to live our lives for Christ. We do that by modeling.

Words are not enough.

Our kids need to see us taking God at His Word by being IN His Word. I love my pastor but I don’t want to take his word for God’s Word … I want to read it for myself—and that’s what any pastor worth his salt would want me to do.

Today’s parents need to be in the Word of God. We need to know it. To live it. To teach it to our kids.

The questions that are being asked right now need an answer. Sit down with your kids and take them to God’s Word for the answers.

Sweet tired mom—you are not alone. It’s tiring work, this business of shepherding the next generation. God will give you strength.

“In the day when I cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul.”
Psalm 138:3

This generation of children and young adults need God’s truth in them now more than ever —to be dug down deep, planted in the rich soil of God’s Word. Stay in there. The work is too important to pass off to someone else, even if that someone else is your pastor.

Your work carries eternal significance with it. It carries the weight of glory—the hope of things to come. Your work carries Jesus to the next generation.

 

 

 

 

This entry was posted in Faith, Homeschooling, MomStrong Parenting and tagged , , on by .

About Heidi St. John

Heidi has been married to her husband Jay since 1989. Together they have seven children and three grandchildren! The St. Johns homeschooled their kids all the way through high school. Heidi is the the author of seven books, host of the popular podcast "Off the Bench," and the founder of MomStrong International, an online community of women learning God's Word and how to apply it to every day life. She and her husband Jay are also the founders of Firmly Planted Family and the Firmly Planted Homeschool Resource Center, located in Vancouver, Washington.

6 thoughts on “Don’t Let Your Youth Pastor Raise Your Kids

  1. Pingback: Waypoint Community Church | Who’s ministering to your youth?

  2. Jennifer Highland

    Heidi, this is excellent – thank you. I think it rings true with all of us, but it requires that we do that difficult thing and embrace the responsibility of shepherding our children ourselves. How daunting that is if we forget that it is our Christ, our Father, and the incredible Holy Spirit that are truly calling to our kiddos’ hearts. Working through our weaknesses (which are never ending) He does the amazing. I’m so thankful for the peace that comes with keeping the Lord in the driver’s seat and watching Him work as my husband and I call on Him. Some of that work that He then does is through the influence of our wonderful church and pastors. He calls us to be teachers in the home first, though, and for that, we need His daily help.

    “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you. (What a wonderful promise!) He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask, be sure that your faith is in God alone. (not our church, friends, advice from others…)”. James1:5,6

    Thank you for the reminder, warning, and ultimate encouragement. God bless and protect your family!

    Reply
  3. Becky

    Your post resonated with me, as my husband and I have just made the decision to again homeschool our soon-to-be-teen daughter, after sending her to public school this past year. In part because of the verse in Luke you shared. I know my daughter is not going to be happy with this decision, as she really loved going to school this past year. Do you have any advice as we break the news to her and make the transition back home?

    Reply
  4. Sasha

    This is a great reminder! Our jobs as mothers are so much more important and valuable than we know. It’s too easy to see the day to day work and become overwhelmed. We miss the real mission we are on. Thank you for your encouragement!

    Reply

Leave a Reply to Jennifer Highland Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *