So You’re Thinking of Having Another Baby?

having-another-baby

I have three amazing daughters, ages 12, 9, and 7.  The oldest is very creative, independent and a good leader.  When she was born, she immediately had a curious look in her eyes.  Everyone commented on how alert she was even at one day old.  I remember holding her in my arms at the hospital as she quietly took in the world around her with those thoughtful, pensive eyes.  She is still that way today; always thinking deeply and longing for friends to connect with on the same level.

When my middle daughter was born, she let out a cry that was so heartbreaking and pitiful sounding!  It was like a high pitched moan that went up and down and up and down, kind of like a siren.  A cry that I would hear many, many times over the years!  She is my sensitive daughter.  So, tears are naturally part of having that sensitive spirit.  But, with that sensitivity also comes an abundance of LOVE.  She is like a wellspring with unconditional love bubbling out of her every day.

My third daughter was a surprise pregnancy.  I think I may have cried when I found out I was pregnant!  Let me tell you… having an infant, a 17 month old and 5 year old daughter is tough work!  And this baby was unlike either of my other two girls.  When she was born, she let out a ROAR that was quite aggressive.  I called her my “baby dinosaur” because of what her cry sounded like. It’s interesting because just like my middle daughter’s pitiful cry as a baby represents her sensitive spirit, my youngest’s roar represents her aggressive personality.  Not only is she aggressive, she is also very dramatic about EVERYTHING.  When she is physically hurt from falling down or stubbing her toe, everyone within a mile radius hears about it from her shrill crying that lasts FOREVER.  When she is mad, you better get out of the way and give her some space to cool down, or before you know it you find yourself yelling even louder than her.  (Sorry, Lord!)  When she is happy, she can practically squeeze the breath out of you as she embraces you in a hug that lasts FOREVER!!  She is my passionate child and I love her to pieces.  But, oh, what a journey we have been on together.

Since my third daughter was such a challenge, I spent most of those first  few years feeling anxious and overwhelmed. In fact, I tried to convince myself that I was done having kids.  About six months ago a member of our church that my husband pastors shared a dream he had about us.  He said that in the dream, Chip and I were moving into a big nice house.  Our oldest daughter was grown and moved away and our other girls were in their late teens…. and we had 3 BOYS!  YIKES!!!  Well, that planted a little seed in my head about possibly having another baby (NOT that I want triplets).

Around the same time as the dream was shared with us, my girls and I joined a homeschool co-op.  Soon, I found myself surrounded by little red headed boys (I have red hair and was hopeful for a red headed baby but have never had one).  Little by little, I started having more thoughts of having a baby.  I thought I was crazy at first and that the thoughts would pass.  Well, they didn’t 🙂  In my spirit I kept hearing the words, “LIFE… NEW LIFE.”  I would go to take my birth control, put it down, walk away, come back, put it down.  I heard the words, “You are keeping him from coming.”  Then, I found out that my middle daughter had been praying for a few months that she would have a baby brother!

I am now 9 weeks pregnant with our 4th child.  I spent the last 8 years convincing my husband we were done having kids, only to find out that my husband knew I would eventually change my mind.  I was actually growing comfortable with how independent my girls have become.  So, knowing I am about to enter the baby season all over again, makes me a little nervous.  But, I know this baby is going to be a huge blessing to everyone around him/her.  I am excited to meet who God is developing inside of me!!  And, I am looking forward to savoring every moment with this new little one, and this time mothering with a peaceful spirit instead of an anxious and overwhelmed one.

Do you have a story like mine? Or are you still wrestling with being done, yet not really done? I don’t think I’m alone.

This entry was posted in Faith, MomStrong Parenting and tagged , on by .

About Windy Looney

Windy Looney is a Pastor's wife and a working, homeschooling mom to 3 dynamic daughters. She does the bookkeeping for her husband's music store and leads the "Tenderhearts" of an American Heritage Girls Troop. Windy is very involved in the praise and worship team at church. She is a classically trained flutist and Board Certified Music Therapist. She has used her gift of music for 20 years to teach and minister to people both young and old, but mostly to children. Here in East Texas it gets a little hot and steamy, so Windy and her family often vacation at their log cabin in Colorado, where friends and loved ones have an open invitation.

13 thoughts on “So You’re Thinking of Having Another Baby?

  1. Melinda

    My boys are 12 (almost 13),10,and 2 1/2. I had two hard babies to begin with. My middle son was the worst baby ever! Seriously, he cried for no reason at all, didn’t like anybody or anything, and made me miserable. My hubby got to the point where he said we were done. After a few years, I really got the baby itch. My big boys had been praying for years for a baby brother, and my hubby and I both decided we wanted another. He has been the biggest blessing ever! We can’t seem to get enough of that sweet little boy. It’s wonderful having a baby with older kids because they are a HUGE help.

    Reply
    1. Windy Looney Post author

      Prayers of our children are so POWERFUL, aren’t they? I am definitely looking forward to the help my girls will be 🙂

      Reply
  2. Amber

    I’m definitely with you. I have 4 (7yo boy, 5 1/2, 2 1/2yo & 2m girls) and 2 in heaven and get asked all the time if we’re done. We joke that we’d be crazy not to be or that were out of space (we’re still in a 2 bedroom to become debt free & pay as much down on our first home). But I know my husband will give me babies forever as long as he feels he can provide for us. I wanted 4 from day one & after losing my 2 between #3 & #4, I told God just allow this last one and I wouldn’t ask for more. ☺️
    Only He will decide. And we talk about adoption through fostering so maybe I’m done having babies but not done adding to my family.

    Reply
    1. Windy Looney Post author

      Amber, God knows what’s best. Trust Him for His perfect plan and timing. I too am needing more space in our house. I am trusting Him to provide the finances for a home renovation!

      Reply
  3. Chels

    Oh, how this speaks to my heart right now. After my last child was born (a son, finally!) I was done. I told my husband I’m not having anymore. I’m not cut out for it. But then over our last anniversary this past August, my husband and I were talking at dinner about more kids and he said something like, ” just imagine what another you or me would look like or what it’s personality would be. If there was another one, I can’t wait to see what their personality would be like.” And that got me thinking, and praying and reading Ecclesiasties which then began to convict me. Every time I came across a verse that talked about vanity I got more and more convicted. Then, I saw friends online talking about how they were done and having kids and how it was their kid’s last 1st birthday…and I got convicted. And in October, I got off the pill. Last Monday, I found out I was pregnant with our 4th child and I’m currently 5 weeks pregnant. Only a small group of family knows plus our kids and every one is thrilled. Especially my kids. They’ve been praying for me to get pregnant too. And our 3 yr old son, wants a sister. Every morning he runs into my room wanting to see “the baby” on the Sprout app on my iPad. He’s so excited!! My prayer is that this pregnancy takes as I’ve had a miscarriage before. But I feel so much peace and I’m already experiencing a few symptoms and I’m just trusting in him, because he convicted me and he knows what’s best for our family. He wants control over my entire life and that as scary as it sounds includes family planning too.

    Reply
    1. Windy Looney Post author

      What a sweet story. I know what you mean…I am so excited to see what kind of personality this one will have as well! Thanks for sharing your story.

      Reply
  4. Beth

    Our 8 babies arrived in 8.75 years, ending on twins. I was 33. We want as many children as the Lord has for us, and His timing. Never dreamed our last conception would be at 32! No changes in my health that I can tell. He opens and closes wombs. Trust God. But, I’m *only* 43 😉

    Reply
    1. Jessica Chinni

      Keep the faith! Keep praying. We had 8, hubby had a vasectomy. I knew the day we did it , it was wrong. I cried so much the surgeon almost wouldn’t do it. We agreed to the vasectomy on the idea we would adopt. 2 years out hubby with tears told me he just didn’t feel we should. I know his heart well enough to know he didn’t purposely deceive me into doing the vasectomy but that’s how I felt, deceived and betrayed. I knew we where not done. For 3 more years I cried out to God and begged for him to fix what we had broke or to change my husbands heart toward adoption. He kept telling me to be still and know I am God. I hate that! But I listened. I didn’t nag my husband or mention it to him again. I finally got to the point where I prayed “Lord either give him this desire or take it from me! I can’t do this anymore!” At the almost 5 year mark a friend approached me about adopting a little 5 month old boy. God gave me peace to talk to hubby. To my surprise he said Yes! With full peace and joy! I was shocked but we ran with it. Then a family member of the baby came forward and he was placed there and not available for adoption anymore. I was crushed. Then 8 months later another friend approched me with information of a woman 6 month pregnant who wanted a larger family for her baby. Again I approched hubby and he said yes, a little hesitant because he knew the heartache from before. This time we contacted lawyers and home study people ect. Then the weird texts started. The birth mom was being very odd. Demanding “her” baby have his own room, not be homeschooled, she wanted shot records sent to her with updates ect. On the Wednesday after Father’s Day I just knew in my spirit we where to pull out. With great heartache that night I told hubby my feeling, he started crying. He said he felt the same way but didn’t want to hurt me by saying it. Then he said the greatest words I’ve ever heard “why don’t we just fix what we broke and I stop running away from God!” I had never told my husband that was the exact phrase I prayed everyday! So to sum up we had the surgery, only given 30% chance for success. Had conceived within 2 months. We lost that baby but conceived again soon and that beautiful blessing is now 22 months old!! A few weeks ago hubby baby and myself where out alone (never happens with 9 kids). Hubby tears up and looks at me and says “what if we had said no?” And hugs our little boy so tight. Oh the joy that he stopped saying no! We sadly lost a baby in January of this year but are currently 32 weeks pregnant with a baby girl! And hubby makes comments like, “if the next one is a girl too we can just make a built in bed on that wall”. His heart is surrendered! Praise God! So keep praying, don’t nag, but cry out to God.

      Reply
  5. Becky

    Great story! And congratulations on your pregnancy.

    My husband and I blended two families. We were both previously divorced and both of us brought a son and a daughter into our marriage so we started with four kids but knew we wanted more together. We had a daughter, and 22 months later a son… three girls and three boys. A nice even number… and our last baby was PERFECT. We knew we were done… until I started having that stirring in my gut telling me we weren’t supposed to be done yet. I felt SO strongly about it and, like you, found out that my two oldest kids had been praying for one more baby. My husband was sure in our decision to be done though, and scheduled a vasectomy. My heart was broken but I decided to trust God… and six days before his scheduled vasectomy I got a positive pregnancy test! Our Elliot (Ellie) is now three months old. Number seven… the biblical number of completion. NOW we really ARE done. Ha! Hubby got that vasectomy as scheduled.

    Reply
    1. Windy Looney Post author

      Ha! What a story! And such a blessing to your family, I’m sure. I love the power behind our children’s prayers!

      Reply
  6. Jenna

    I love this post. I have a somewhat similar, but also completely different story. Before I became a Christian, I lived a crazy life which resulted in me getting pregnant at the age of 20. I had my beautiful daughter the day before turing 21. Because God has always had an amazing plan for me and because children are always a blessing, my daughter has been the most precious gift in my life.

    Fast forward many years… I became a Christian at the age of 30 and prayed God would send a godly man my way. I told myself if was to marry before 35 I’d have another child. Well, 35 came, and so did 36, and before I knew it I was about to turn 37. It was at this point that my prayer for a godly man was answered and I met my now husband, Brian.

    When I met Brian I felt the urge to tell him very early in our dating that I was done having children. He didn’t have any. Funny thing is when we had “the talk” about kids and he asked me how I felt about having more, I immediately said “I’d love to have more children.” What?! Where did that come from? Because that was the opposite of what I had told myself. Of course, God’s plan always prevails! Days after telling Brian that I would love to have more children, God showed me how I had closed myself off to His most precious gifts and that it was never too late. It was a beautiful transformation.

    As I type this, I am 20 weeks pregnant, with a son. My husband, daughter and I are beyond thrilled. God’s love and faithfulness is unfathomable. We are blessed.

    Reply
  7. Jennifer

    When my husband and I were first married, we said we’d love either two or four children. After having the first we said we were good with two. When my second was 4 months old, my dh had a vasectomy. We were permanently done, right? Well, fast forward 6 years, to two months before my 35th birthday and I keep seeing mom’s older then me who were pregnant and happy! I thought, I still feel young and could have more children. I love babies! So with lots of prayer I brought up the idea of having a vasectomy reverse to my dh. It look about 4 months for us to research and make a final decision but it all worked out. We decided that we’d reverse and see what happens bc more children aren’t a guarantee with a reversal. The reversal was July 25, 2013 and July 1, 2014 we were holding our precious baby son! It was truly amazing! We currently have an 11 yr old son, 9.5 yr old daughter, a 20 month old son & one on the way in Sept! I did loose a baby at 11.5 weeks this past Oct as well. Congratulations on your little one. 🙂

    Reply

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