Archive for the ‘Encouragement’ Category

I grew up in the seventies and eighties. My grandparents sent us to a private Christian school (which I loved, by the way.)

The time that I was growing up was known for two things that I remember clearly. I say clearly because I’m sure there are many more things that I can’t remember!  You know they say that with each child, you lose some brain cells.  Seven times whatever … well you can do the math. It ain’t pretty.

In any case those two things that I remember are these:

I remember the excess of the 80′s – the Christmas tree was overflowing with gifts and everyone was trying to “one up” everyone else.  Cars, houses, clothes.  I don’t think it was because of my private school education, either.  The same little competitions were happening on my cul-de-sac.

The eighties however came with some baggage from the seventies.  And honestly, I think that “baggage” had been there for decades before. I can’t compare them of course but the baggage I’m referring to is this: we had a hard time saying what was “really” going on.

My grandparents, whom I loved dearly, we very tight-lipped about anything that seemed amiss in our perfect private-school family. And I don’t think it’s because they were afraid. I think it’s because of a misguided sense of care for us.  Well, and fear.  Okay, and pride. That too.

It’s funny how we think that by not sharing our weaknesses and struggles that others will somehow be encouraged by our example.

I was reading Colossians 4 in a quiet nook of my bedroom today.  (Okay let’s be honest: it’s only truly quiet here at 6:30 a.m., so if you ever hear me say my house is quiet, assume it’s early in the morning.) Anyway, my heart was heavy.  I struggled to read the Bible without being distracted or jumping ahead to make my list for the day.

In fact, I was pretty distracted until I read the very.last.verse of Colossians 4. Here’s what it says:

^“ I, Paul, write this greeting in my own hand. Remember my chains.”

I was struck by the image of this man in chains for the sake of the gospel. But I was more struck by the fact that he was not trying to impress anyone with his “tough it out” attitude. And this was an apostle!  He was a super-star for Christ, someone that was looked up to and admired by many.

I went back to the beginning of the chapter and discovered that Paul asked for help again and again.  He told the truth. He didn’t put on a “brave” face and he didn’t try to keep his struggles a secret.

• v. 3 – “pray for us, that God may open a door for our message”
• v. 7 – “Tychicus will tell you all the news about me.”
• v. 9 – “They will tell you everything that is happening here.”
• v. 12 -”He (Epaphras) is always standing in prayer for you.”
• v. 16 – Paul gives instruction to tell about his circumstances in Laodicea
• v. 18 – “Remember my chains.”

Remember my chains.  In other words, don’t forget me. I need your prayers.

It reminds me of the time I was struggling with a newborn who never slept. One night, I asked my dear friend to just please remember me at 2 a.m., 3:30 a.m. etc. I really thought that I might die from sleep deprivation if no one prayed for me!

When I look at Paul, it’s clear: prayer was essential to his life.  Here was a guy that was truly suffering. And he didn’t care who knew it.  Why?  Because he knew that he needed to be undergirded. He knew he needed the prayers of his other brothers and sisters. I think it’s interesting that Paul didn’t seem to care what other people thought of his suffering.

That’s usually what hangs me up.

Paul knew there was power in prayer. So he asked for it. He told the truth. In so doing, he opened the door to what could have been wide-spread criticism.

I think he did so because he had his eyes on the bigger picture. He was trying to follow God. And he knew he needed prayer more than he needed to guard his pride.

The next time you have a chance to talk with a friend and you sense an opportunity to be real, take it. We need each other, busy moms.

Are you in pain? Is your marriage in need of prayer? Are you struggling with a strong-willed child? Wondering if you’re really cut out of this motherhood thing?

Then you’re in good company. Keep it real.  Let’s pray for each other.  The road is a long one. I say we travel it together and carry one-another’s burdens.

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…”  I Thessalonians 5:11

You’re doing great, mom! Keep lovin’ your kids.

“Good things come to those who wait.”

Boy, I heard this a lot as a child, this philosophy of waiting. It was preached from the pulpit, at school and yes, at home. It’s funny how you turn into your parents, pastors and teachers … eventually.

When I was young, I was always in a hurry to grow up. I remember thinking, “if only I could drive…” or “if only so-and-so would ask me out” … and then, I married the most wonderful man—and the “if onlys” began again. “If only we had more money”, “If only the kids would obey!”

Time is a teacher. At long last, I am discovering something about my if only attitude. In Romans, Paul was having a similar angst. Except he had the right perspective.

“But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” Romans 8:25

In the quiet (read: before the kids awake), I let these words soak deep into my spirit. And a four little words speak to my spirit. “We hope—We Wait.”

Look closely. They come before and after “for what we do not have.”

We live in a world that is desperate for hope. Entire {successful} presidential campaigns have been built on the word “Hope.”  It is a powerful word. It holds a promise that is unique to the one who hears it.

What are we hoping—and waiting for? Some weighty things come to mind—

Raising children is really an exercise in hope. Each day requires renewed patience and discipline as I wait to see the beginnings of buds appear on the branches of those little saplings I have planted oh-so-carefully with my husband.  The promise of fruit that will appear —the hope—that if I plant with the harvest in mind, and if I nurture these little souls—and if—I can ask forgiveness … there.will.be.fruit.

We hope—for what we do not yet have.

We wait for it—patiently

… when we’ve said “no” for the trillionth time
… when we are challenged repeatedly
… when the gentle correction seems to not be working
… when the toddler just will.not.stop. whining
… when the math lessons are wearisome
… when I am weary from the oh-so-daily reminders:

“your school books don’t go there”
“yes, it’s your turn to unload the dishwasher”
“please treat your sister with kindness”
“stop arguing with each other…please …. now … STOP!”

Many moms fall into bed each night exhausted and discouraged—for little change is seen in the day-to-day challenges of raising children.

Real change is incremental. It is a decision of the heart.

So we wait—with hope—for what do we do not yet see.

And we don’t give up. And we love with a fierceness that burns brightly on long winter days.

And—we keep waiting—because we believe the promise.

Good things come to those who wait. And just like Rome wasn’t built in a day, so fruit trees don’t mature overnight.

One day, I am learning, the effort begins to bear fruit. Children grow up. They get married … and… I’m also discovering that eventually, they make ecstatic grandmothers out of tired mamas.

There will be fruit. Plant with the harvest in mind.

Be encouraged,
heidi

People often ask me what I would change about homeschooling if I could start over. With two graduates and five more to go, believe me, I think about this question from time to time. It’s good to reflect on the lessons we learn as the years go by.

Believe it or not, the BEST years we have ever had in homeschooling have been the ones where I have felt the least successful. One year, I was on bedrest for months of a pregnancy. My plans for the year evaporated before my eyes and I was left with very few options but to read with the kids and do a “scaled down” version of the program I wanted to use. Very.Scaled.Down.

I was depressed and worried about how well the kids would do at the end of the school year for Washington’s required testing.

That was the year that I truly understood what God meant when He said “My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

It was also the year that the kids scored three grade levels above their grade level at the end of the year’s required testing. I think God was trying to show me that this homeschool journey he has called us to is as much about me following Him as it is about educating our kids.

When I do my part, He more than does His.

If you’re struggling with unexpected challenges this year, don’t let it discourage you. Pare down if you need to, and believe that God will finish what He has started if you’ll just trust Him.

He’s the ultimate multi-tasker.

Last week, I spoke for NCHE (North Carolinians for Home Education) at their awesome conference in Winston-Salem. I loved being able to talk with many of the 6000+ attendees on everything from multi-level teaching to marriage. Moms, and especially homeschool moms really float my boat.  They are my people, if you know what I mean.    I get being a mom. Most of the women I spoke to had similar questions and the biggest one is usually “Am I doing enough?”

We do so much, don’t we? Or at least we try to do so much. Ballet, soccer, music lessons, co-op, church, birthday parties. Just looking at a potential list of all the things I “could” be doing but am not makes me feel like a failure sometimes.

Man, we’re hard on ourselves! I used to ask myself if I was doing enough a lot when our kids were all little, but I must admit, it’s lessening with each passing year. Now that two of our daughters are grown, I find myself emotionally tied to less “super” things … and more sappy ones. Turns out that the best memories we all share are pretty simple. Like reading together. Nothing “super” about that… or is there?

One of the reasons I love speaking to moms is because it provides me with an opportunity to “be real” about my own life—flaws and all.  You see, there’s no such thing as a mom who has it all together. The mom who is SUPER academic will often wonder why she can’t be more laid back like her unschooling friend. And the mom who is SUPER organized may secretly wish she could be more laid back. Some moms are SUPER at socializing while others are SUPER at crockpot dinners. We’ve all got our strengths and weaknesses. And that’s okay. I think the key to avoiding Super Mom Syndrome is just to keep being real with each other.

You see I’ve come to believe that the best encouragement comes from ordinary moms being … well … ordinary. It’s not the “Super Moms” that encourage me. It’s the moms who share the same struggles I do but who remain willing to try again tomorrow. The mom who can say “Yeah, I thought about quitting homeschooling last week too!” … and then didn’t quit because she was reminded of the why rather just the oh-so-daily tasks of homeschooling.

The mom who falls down, and then talks about how God met her where she was at—and kept at it—shows us that His strength really is made perfect in weakness.

That’s the good stuff.

At the end of the day, my kids won’t remember me as Super Mom. But I hope they remember that I loved them. That I asked for forgiveness when it was necessary. That I wasn’t embarrassed to put a frozen pizza in the oven even when company came over for dinner unannounced and that I taught them how to navigate the often rough waters of parenthood with a little flair all their own. I hope they learn how to listen for the Lord so that they take on His yoke and not someone else’s. His yoke is easy. His burden is light.

You don’t have to be Super Mom.  Just have to Abide in Him. You can do all things through Christ.